All About G

I’m hungry.

And it sucks, because there really isn’t anything in the house at the moment to eat. I’d make cream of what, but what is cream of wheat, or oatmeal for that matter, without toast? There’s no eggs, we’re almost out of milk… not that it’s all that big of a deal, because we’ve no cereal either. I’d go to one of my friend’s houses to bum food off of them, but that sounds so hobo-ish, not to mention the fact that I’m not going anywhere until volleyball tonight. Today is going to be a more or less rest day for me, because I’ve been all over the place for the past couple of weeks straight.

Luckily, Dad should be getting paid today (or was it tomorrow?). Hopefully after all the bills are paid off, we’ll have some money left over for food.

Other updates? Well, the car, yesterday, went in to the shop to get worked on. When we get it back, it should look like nothing ever happened… which will be good. Once it comes back, if anyone brings it up again, I’ll fucking punch them in their face. Because EVERYONE has been ragging on me about it FOR THE PAST TWO WEEKS, and I’m frankly tired of it. ESPECIALLY when SOME people (ahem ahem) don’t get the story straight, and continuously make fun of me for something that DIDN’T FUCKING HAPPEN.

ATTENTION: I DID NOT RUN OVER THE FUCKING CHIPMUNK ON THE WAY HOME FOR FUCKING GOD’S SAKE! IT SAFELY PASSED UNDERNEATH THE CAR! How do I know? Because I went past there later that day; there was no blood, or mess, or flattened chipmunk. SO FUCKING DROP IT ALREADY. I’LL DUFF THE NEXT PERSON THAT BRINGS THAT UP I SWEAR TO GOD.

Anyway, I still haven’t had much luck in finding a job. Z STILL tells me to “check back” blah blah bullshit. I’m giving up on him. So I’ll reapply to every place I can think of, and :sigh: I was hoping I wouldn’t have to turn to that, but if it comes down to it, I’ll try applying at McDonald’s. Hopefully, it won’t come down to that. One can only hope.

:sigh: I’m still fucking hungry. I should try foraging the kitchen and see what I can hunt and gather.

So this morning, on my way to class, I wrecked Dad’s car.

Okay… so I didn’t wreck it, because it isn’t totaled. I just smashed the driver’s side headlights, dented the hood, and fucked up the grill.

You’re all probably wondering why. Well, why do you think I’m blogging about this?

Anyway, this is the scenario: me and my little sister, Kimmie, were heading to Binghamton to my class, because she was shadowing me today. I was driving, OBVIOUSLY, and I was going down I88 west at about 75mph.

Here’s what happened. You all know that bend in the road RIGHT BEFORE the reduced speed area in Port Crane? Well, that’s how far I got. Anyways, there’s a bridge, so the ground RIGHT BEFORE is is actually a steep hill-thingy. So, up from it, out of nowhere, pops a young buck. And, no, he didn’t stop there. He glanced at us, and took off across the highway RIGHT in front of me, and stopped, RIGHT in front of me. I had time to shriek and slam on the brakes, because I did it as soon as I saw him come up over the ledge and take off, but I knew there was no way I was going to be able to avoid him.

I at least managed to get it down to 30mph when I actually hit him, so the damage wasn’t nearly as bad as it would have been if I hadn’t slowed down from 75 (if I was going that fast, I prolly wouldn’t be here writing about it—I’d be in the hospital). Another thing was that the brakes, because Dad doesn’t seem to know how to use them without practically slamming down on them and wearing them down faster, were just worn enough so that no, I wasn’t screeching to a halt like I had wanted to, but they weren’t so worn that the car “leaned forward” because if that happened, I would have added “smashed front and back windshields,” and possibly “smashed engine” to the list. I hit its gut with my headlight so it went flying backwards and landed in the left lane.

Immediately after that, I screamed several choice curses and pull over and called Mom. Holy cow, I was shaking from head to foot. God, I hope that never happens again. Anyways, I did end up going to class.

Want to know something sad? It seemed like Dad cared more about the condition of the car than me. He never asked if I was okay, just saying later on that I was “damn lucky I hit the deer where I hit him.” Gee, thanks a lot.

Thanks to Mom, because at least she was concerned about me.

:sigh: Anyway, It’s 6pm now, and I have volleyball tonight. So I’m going to head over there to try and take my mind off of this. I’ll post more next time something else happens.

HOLY CRAP I NEED TO GET LAID.

Just kidding, I don’t really need it. Though I’m a little agitated since it’s been like, months since I last did ANYTHING with a guy (the last time was truth or dare on my birthday with one of my best friends, and all we did was freakin’ kiss), and my stupid freakin’ hormones are killing me. And I’m not the type of person who’s gonna go out and find the next guy to screw, HECK NO. Maybe that’s the problem—I’m too picky to be cool. Maybe if I slept with half the town like some people I’ve heard of/known, then I’d be cool too. I wouldn’t do that if someone pointed a gun to my head, but observing my age group in the town, sleeping around seems to be the trend these days…

Really, while I don’t find the concept of sex a big deal, is it necessary for ladies to go out and screw every guy? I mean, isn’t that overdoing it a little bit? I would understand if they were fooling around with one guy, or even two. But everyone? Really… ick. I don’t even have one guy, and while it’s frustrating, I don’t run out and look for one of the guys that wanted to screw me… maybe that’s it. Maybe the reason why we’ll screw practically every guy is because they’ll ask, or want to. And then once word gets around that we’re “easy” more guys come to us, and we keep saying yes. Of course, that just blows up in our face in the end. I’m just glad I don’t do that. (the only thing I don’t like about being picky when it comes to a boyfriend, forget about a special friend, is that none of the guys meet my standards. Damnit I’ve been single for what… idk, 3 years now? I’ve turned down every guy that’s asked me out. I’m tired of it)

So I’m typing this blog post. My eyes hurt and they feel ridiculously dry, you know, that dry feeling you feel when your eyes want to close and stay closed? Well yea, I’m tired, but I want to finish typing this. Anyway, life here so far is… heavy freakin’ sigh. Kasedy’s gotten her self into more trouble… almost unsurprisingly. This time, depending on what we find out, it may actually be really serious, and I still stand by my belief that the girl needs to stop hanging around people older than her, that she still has a youth to live and all. I met this chick, a 12 year old named Georgia, and IT’S THE EXACT SAME THING! She’s getting involved in shit with people MY AGE. Come on, kids! (because that’s what you are, so stfu) Why are you trying so hard to thrust yourselves into this adult life, which really sucks?

Anyways, I see Andy every now and then while I walk around… when I’m not talking my stinkin’ class. From what I gather, he’s doing good too, and is thinking the same thing I am as in, this drama is seriously freakin’ old. He’s probably as sick of it as I am, if not more so. See, unlike him, I’ve got no social life.

Bhoff’s coming back… I think. That’d be really cool if he did move back to Sidney. I’d be able to kick his ass in soccer again. Well, that’s if Cameo approves of him being my friend. For some reason or another, she seems to hate me, or something. I really don’t know.

Steve’s being Steve… I’m assuming. He’s still in Texas, most likely enjoying the 100+ degree weather. Last time I chatted with him and nearly sapped all of the minutes from my phone, he was doing good and wanting to come back from X-mas. Maybe the four of us, me, Steve, Andy and Brian, could get together again for another group photo to show the world how much we’ve grown, LOL.

As for me, besides dealing with the typical hormonal cravings that I’m having so much fun ignoring, classes are good. I haven’t failed yet, and tomorrow we’re going to slice up an eyeball in lab. We were dissecting cats last week and they smelled HORRIFICALLY BAD. I hope the eye aren’t that bad. That would fuck up my week more than anything. Kasedy’s going to shadow me on Tuesday (she wants to, but I think she’s gonna die of boredom… I barely survive it myself), and sooner or later, I’m gonna drag Kimmie to one of my classes too. Lovely sister-sister bonding and whatnot, plus I’ll be giving her a taste of what a typical college classroom will look like. I go out too much and I’m always exhausted, and none of my friends can sense when I’m in this state, and since I’m such a stupid but nice girl, I silently suffer until they leave and then pass out late at night when I’m sure they won’t come back…

But I can’t keep blabbing. It’s almost 11pm, I’m exhausted, and I have to get up early for class tomorrow. Till next time, readers (do I even have any readers? If you read this blog, leave a comment, saying “I read this blog [insert approximation of how often].” You don’t even need to say your name if you want to. I just want to know if there are actually people that might find my boring life interesting)

I don’t know what to do

You all probably gonna say “WTF?! This isn’t a freakin’ crisis!” BUT IT IS TO ME, DAMNIT.

Well, as most of you all know (or figured), I’m going to be going into my second year of school coming this fall (basically, I’m a sophomore now). And it’s getting to be that time where I need to make a decision of exactly what I want to do.

That’s the problem. I don’t know what to do.

Right now I’m in the process of getting into Athletic Training, but lately I’ve gotten myself an interest in Orthopedics. I think I want to be an orthopedic doctor, but I think I also want to be an athletic trainer. But I need to make up my mind and soon.

Almost everyone I’ve confided in has told me the same thing: “You have your whole life to make up your mind.” But I don’t! I most likely won’t have the time or the money later on to afford up to around 10 more years or school to pursue a career in orthopedics! So what can I do? What should I do? I was thinking that maybe I could try and double-major it—you know, pre-med and athletic training. But I have no idea what the curriculum is for pre-med, except that I have to take organic chemistry. Not to mention the fact that would I be good enough to get into med school? Well the question should probably be, would I get off of my lazy ass and do good enough to get in? And would I be able to afford all of that?

So I want to know what you all think. Should I go for it? Or should I pick one or the other?

ahaha, TWO MORE FREAKIN DAYS! I can’t wait; you all have no idea. Seriously. If it weren’t for the fact that my ONLY in-class final was on Friday, I would have been home way earlier.

Ah well, you can’t have everything.

I have a portfolio to finish, plus two take home finals. The damned portfolio would be done too, if it weren’t for the stupid javascript. It TAKES FOREVER. It lags even more than adobe files I read through my browser! What the hell is wrong here?! UGH. DAMN JAVASCRIPT. I would have been done with this stupid thing HOURS ago.

I actually would have been finished with it yesterday, if I had worked on it yesterday (and if java wasn’t so damn slow). And I would have worked on it too, you see (is that ‘to’ earlier in the sentence suppose to have one O or two? The grammar rules have fled my mind for the time being). But I couldn’t move at all yesterday. I was sick… still am. Yesterday I had the worst headache… well not the worst headache I’ve ever had… one time I had a migraine… oh gawd I hope I never get one again. But it was still a bad headache. It hurt to be upright, it hurt to be lying down. It even hurt in the dark or even with my eyes closed. The night before I was freezing; I was bundled up with everything I had and I was still shivering uncontrollably. Very miserable, I’ll tell you. Luckily, thanks to me being in bed all day yesterday (not like I could do much of anything else…) I feel so much better. I believe I’ll feel better by Friday at the latest, as long as I continue to rest.

The only things I have to do are my take home finals, and eventually get this portfolio done (stupid freakin’ javascript… it’s already 10:30, and I’m still not done…). And then the final on Friday, and I’m done. Thank God. It’s about time. I’m really tired of being here… A lot of people don’t seem to understand me… I’ll get into that one later.

The women’s team got 5th place, and the guy’s team got 4th. Marcia again did an AMAZING job; she qualified for provisionals (nationals) in the 400m dash, and our 4×1 team did too if I recall correctly.

Personally, I did okay with the 200, but I did shitty in triple. Don’t even ask for details :shudders: I don’t want to go into that.

My 200 run… dash… anyway, it felt really good. I came out of my blocks really well, and in generally it felt like I did a god job.

I think I know why I have such a hard time making friends. Because I have no idea what to say around people without looking like an idiot. I take a while to think about what I’m going to say, and by the time I’m ready to say it, it would be out of context with the conversation. Nevertheless, I realized that if I want to be friend with someone, I end up not being their friend, and if there’s someone I didn’t really think about being friends with, I end up their friend. So maybe if I convince myself that I don’t have to be someone’s friend, I’ll be able to be a little less tense and self-conscious around them and eventually end up their friend.

Anyway, Friday, as of now, is the day. THE DAY. I really can’t wait. I’m sick of work. Of course, I’ll only have like, a 3 week break before guess what? I go back to school again! Well, at least it’s in Binghamton and not Ithaca. I was planning on going to IC… if it weren’t for the fact that summer class at IC cost at least twice as much as the classes at SUNY Binghamton.

But that’s about it for now. I have work to do… unfortunately. Till next time.

Feh. So I can’t go to the Relays this year. I probably wasn’t gonna be able to run in them anyway. :sigh: Oh well, there’s always next year I suppose.

The reason why she was “upset,” as she said, was because I “waited so long to tell her about my performance.” Well, I actually wasn’t waiting. When I told her, I only realized earlier that day that the meet was on Sunday. Hmph.

She’s happy that I’m gonna continue my training over the summer. She thinks I could triple jump 10m, and I could get under 27 seconds in the 200. Plus, she told me the coaches that train me, including her, think I’m very coachable… and stuff. She said I have a lot of potential, I just need to get stronger and fitter. And that’s pretty much it.