All About G

As if I didn’t have enough crap to deal with.

So, there’s pressure for me to take a summer class. Well… I don’t have much of a choice. It’s either take that class, or forget about my AT major, and if that was the case, I might as well drop out and reapply as a freshman AGAIN. I honestly don’t know how I’m going to do this because apparently it’s harder to get aid for summer courses, and I really don’t want to take out another loan. We’re having enough money trouble as it is. And it doesn’t help that it’s about $1000 for this one course, and I may have to take the other ANP course too, which is another $1000. Really, how the hell are we supposed to pay for that??? Especially with the flood repairs that still need to be done on the house, not to mention the fact that don’t we still own IC like, $400, so I can’t go back for my sophomore year? Plus there’s the car, and then there’s medical/dental stuff that needs to get taken care of…

Which leads me to my next thing; my clavicle. For all you retards who don’t know what the clavicle is, it’s your collarbone. After searching my archives, I’ve come to the conclusion that no, I didn’t inform anyone who reads this about it. So I’ll briefly inform you. My left clavicle, about a year ago (it happened last March… early March methinks), bent for an unknown reason. At the time it was hurting, I had to have it in a sling. I was gonna get referred, but I never was… stupid doctor… anyway, over time it stopped hurting. This lasted over the summer and a good ways into this semester. Now, though, it hurts. Not badly, but it’s tender, and it gets in the way of sleeping, sometimes track, lifting, and even sometimes it’ll just start randomly hurting and I won’t even be doing anything. I could be just sitting at my desk and reading or typing and it’ll start to hurt. I’ve given up trying to figure out the cause of this, but I’ve figured out that it’s looking like the only way to fix this would be to break my clavicle and reset it that way. And of all the things… I haven’t been to the hospital for any kind of emergency my whole life. I’ve never broken a bone. And now I have to do it on purpose?! COME THE FUCK ON. Having my bone INTENTIONALLY broken is one of the LAST things I’d want to do. Well… I suppose the only plus that comes out of this is that when they do it, they’ll knock me out cold with some drugs so I won’t feel it… initially. Guaranteed that I will most certainly be feeling it when I wake up. Of course, I have no idea when this is supposed to take place, because this will probably cost money… and at the moment, money is something we don’t have. So, forget fixing my clavicle, just like I may as well forget about getting braces too.

Oh, the sneakers I brought three weeks ago? There’s a tear. You would think RUNNING SNEAKERS could handle a game on indoor soccer, but I guess not. WTF. This was a waste of $20. I have no idea if the tear will turn into a hole, I don’t know how much more I can use them before they’re completely ruined. I don’t have the money to replace them; I still have to work on getting my dance costume together for the performance in a couple of weeks. What the hell am I supposed to do? Don’t even get me started on how the soccer game went…

And I don’t have the stuff needed to turn in for club soccer. I still owe them a pic, my signature, and $50. I have only one out of three of those things. :sigh: wtf… I don’t know. I really don’t.

I’m just tired of being here. I’m tired of all the work I have to put in. I’m tired of everything and I just want to come home, back to my comfortable bed, and the good/healthy food that I can actually eat. I want to play soccer or v-ball or anything with my friends Casey and Jess and Ethan. I want to kill demons of Nazis with my sister and whoever else wants to join us. But more than anything I just want to be home.