I miss it. So much that sometimes it’s painful. It’s pitiful I know. Whenever I see it, I want to join and play again. If I could marry anything, animate or inanimate, I’d marry the sport of soccer.
Sad, I know. Soccer’s my opium. Well, that’s a bit extreme. But when I’m feeling down and when I’m at my lowest point, the only thing that’ll get me back on my feet is soccer.
And I miss it. More so than I can express in words. The last legitimate season I ever played on was my senior year in high school on the varsity team (I don’t count the U19 club season. I wasn’t exactly what you’d called wanted on the team). Co-captain, honorable MAC All-star mentions, and the best season I’ve ever played. SGS had never gone to Sectional Finals before, and it was an honor to have played in the game. At the same time, that moment, those last few seconds in the game, were probably the most heart-breaking. And I knew, after they scored the second goal, that it was all over.
I wasn’t the same for a while after that. Call me a fanatic, but I was insanely depressed after ending my career. But I didn’t want to give it up.
When I came to IC, one of the first things I did was get checked out for competitive play. And then, I tried out for the varsity soccer team. There I made probably one of the biggest, stupidest mistakes I’ve ever made in my entire life. And I still berate myself for it. Maybe instead of playing my favorite position as forward, I should’ve tried out for my best position, defense. What’s horrible is that, every time I’ve played since then, I’ve always played back! And I’m really good at playing back! Why the hell did I only notice this recently?!
I still play, but only on intramural teams. And it’s fun, but it’s not that same. And that desire to play is what’s led me to email Coach Quigg. And it’s leading me to go talk to her about trying out again next year. And it’s leading me to go outside more and move around more in preparation for working out over the summer.
It’s now or never. And at this point, there’s not turning back. I’ll get on that team. Or at the very least, I will try my damnedest.
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