I feel a need to write in this, but honestly, I’m not entirely sure what to say.
Truthfully, I’ve thought of a ton of cool and interesting subjects, but I was so lazy, I never went about writing in them, and eventually, I either forgot about them or they lose relevancy in the here and now. For example, I was gonna write about Jay Cutler and those shenanigans, but then I completely didn’t. And now it’s almost April and that news is long past.
In any event, I think I’ll discuss what’s currently going on, but I will be as vague as possible, because I don’t want to compromise my position (haha, it sounds like I’m on a secret mission or something).
So, there’s this guy. And I think he might be interested in me. At least, I think there’s a possibility; I notice him looking at me a good deal (and he catches me looking right back). So, he might be interested. Or, I might be doing what I usually do and am simply over-thinking things. Maybe he’s looking at me because I have an obvious wedgie or something, I dunno.
Anyway, we keep looking at each other. And in the meantime, we don’t talk much. And I can’t bring myself to talk to him. It’s ANNOYING. I couldn’t even say “Hi, how’s it going?” the other day, and it’s just like AUGH! GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF! THIS ISN’T THE 9TH GRADE! THIS IS COLLEGE. YOU’RE AN ADULT, OMFG.
So, I told myself this morning, I’ll make of point of at LEAST saying hi to him when I see him. I don’t necessarily have to create conversation, but maybe saying hi would be a good start, right? This is all so terribly frustrating. Guys, you think girls are complicated? Well YOU are impossible to read. I can never tell what’s going through a guy’s mind. Thus, I get super paranoid, like “Is he just looking in my direction because there’s something he notices around me, or is he just zoning out? Is he looking at me? Is he checking me out? Oh my god is my hair okay? Do I look presentable?”
And etc., etc., etc.
In any event, I’m going to try and cease this nonsensical freaking out. Maybe then I’ll be able to get something DONE. You would think that with age comes a lesser chance of acting like a retarded teenager, but I guess not…
Hey, I’m still acting like a retarded teenager and I’m more than twice your age! I’m sorry to have to say this but you’re never too old for retarded teenagerness.
In its way, its cute but I can understand your frustration. (Remind me that I have a manga for you to read. It could have been written by you.)