THANK YOU! I’m so glad that I’m not the only one who thinks this!
A friend of mine once asked me, after I told them about me being bi-racial, what do I identify with; blacks or whites? I told her; I don’t identify with either. I’m Gina before I’m anything else. She had replied to that with; you realize that everyone else will look at you and automatically say you’re black. To that, I said; well that’s because they’re stupid and can only think in categories.
I don’t understand why people see me as a certain thing, or why they expect me to identify with a certain race. Why do I have to identify with anything? Even though I’m bi-racial, if I identify with whites, will that make me a white person? If I identify with blacks, does that make me a black person? Why can’t I just be me? Gina Baker is who you should be looking at, not the color of my skin. I’m not just white, or just black, or just anything. I’m made up of many different genes from many different places and races that traveled through generations and generations until creating the person that is physically me. But that shouldn’t be something to judge me with. You learn about my personality, intellect, and opinions before you even begin to come to any conclusions about me. Things that should actually matter when deciding whether or not I’m worthy or being your friend, not my fucking skin color!
Race/color shouldn’t define who a person is, nor should anyone else define that person. That person them self should define who they are. There is no real logical reason to be taking everyone and separating them into categories; blacks, whites, Asians, etc. We’re all human. Shouldn’t that be what counts?
So, who am I? I’m Regina Ann “Gina” Baker, who lived in the city but now in the country; a freshman in college who’s a little young amongst her peers because she was homeschooled and advanced further than her peers (I’m “supposed” to be a senior in high school now) and still finds it a little hard to fit in really well; a young adult who is still afraid of truly growing up and being on her own; A daughter and sister who loves to sing and dance and spend time with her family; a caring friend who is willing to do anything for her friends; someone who finds it hard to say no, but is willing to do just that and stand up for her self when everyone has turned their backs on her; and simply a girl who is living and loving life, who appreciates what she has even though there are things she wants and still doesn’t understand, who is fascinated by the world around her and is always curious and striving to learn more, who is blessed with what gifts she’s been given, and will eventually be ready to show her self off to the rest of the world.
So, here I am. Not too long from now after I turn this computer off, I’m going to be packing my stuff into the trunk and leaving for Ithaca. At the moment, I’m kinda really scared, but hopefully I’ll settle in fine, like Brian told me he did. Plus, I’m kinda hungry, which means I should go eat, but that can wait.
It’s kinda hard to believe that I’m actually going off to college. It’s kinda hard to believe that I’m turning 18, and that I’ve come this far. I don’t think my life was exceptionally amazing. It was mediocre, with some problems at home and with friends, but it was expected.
Sure there maybe problems htat I have, or had, in my life, but I’m the way I am because of it. If there was something I could go back and change, it would be eating more tomoatoes last night because they’re freakin delicious.
I’ve made many mistakes, and I’ve learned many lessons. And, well what do you know, I still have, like, 60-70 years to keep going. And geez, I thought 17 years was long as it was.
Looking back on it all, I’m glad things turned out the way they did. The episodes with Eva, Andy, and the most recent one with Kasedy, and my friends, like Jess, Casey, Ethan and Anthony, helped me grow and mature, and they taught me valuable things and gave me many memories to hold onto as I move on. I hope that I’ll get to keep them as friends, and I hope I get to make new ones. I hope that I get to find a guy who I’ll be able to stay with for the rest of my life. I hope that I’ll be successful and prosperous and that I will have many happy days. But most of all, Ihope that I’ll continue to have as much love in my life as I do now. I’m so glad that everone around me is supporting me with what I do. I hope that while I’m gone, the support won’t ever lessen. And I hope you all will be thinking of me, just like I’ll be thinking of you.
I love you Mom and Dad, for being there for me whenever I needed it. There have always be arguements, but if we never fought then something would be wrong. I love you Kimmie for becoming one of my best friends. I hope that I won’t end up wanting the Mangekyo Sharigan (running gag between me and her), you “foolish little sister.” I love my brothers, and although I don’t really spend alot of time with either, I’ll miss them both. Derek, even though you’re always pissing me off to no end, I’ll miss you too and I love you too
Jessica, you have become one of my best friends. You’re really someone I can talk to about anything, and I know that I can trust you. I hope you’ll think of me, and don’t forget me, and I’ll be thinking of you. Tell Ethan I said hi Ethan, Casey, and Anthony, you three are the best. I only just got to really know you three right before I leave, and it sucks that I won’t be seeing you till around my birthday. But I’ll be thinking of you guys and all the good times. And, yes, I’ll go to a couple of parties for your sakes
Everyone else, I love you all. Thank you so much for being in my life, because I’m sure my life would be very dull if you weren’t in it.
I was thinking about it, and I’ve been thinking about it for a little while. And I realized, if I really wanted to, I could get an eating disorder.
I work at Joe’s and Vinny’s right? Before that I weighed, like, 118 or 120. Now I weigh about 130. And I don’t know why I feel this way, but I feel extremely fat, and I really want to go back down to 120, and my mind keeps saying “Just don’t eat alot! You’ll lose weight that way!” And, I’ve been cutting back on eating and changing my diet around. But it still feels like I just wanna stop eating, at least until I get back down to what I was before. And I’m sitting here, right now, thinking that “omg I’m so fucking fat! I need to lost this weight” I don’t know, it’s really kinda freaky, and I guess I’ll have to be careful with that.
So, if anyone notices that I look really bony, make me eat something.
I had much fun, to my surprise. The set up the place pretty pretty, and I danced, and danced and danced. Amazingly I danced and chatting with Brian H., though I was kinda unsure of what to do there. But I managed along, stumbling all over the place (not literally, I’m a good dancer whether it is fast or slow), and had a good time,
I’m REALLY exhausted, so before I go I’ll let you know that we took some HOTT pics that sooner or later I’ll put up for your enjoyment. yawn okay g-nite. LOL. *** I’ll add on more to this later.
Andy found me and Isaiah and promptly sat us down. We talked: catching up on each other. Then, almost as fast as we gather, we dispersed. Me and Andy made amends. Finally patching up our rocky past as friends, we said goodbye.
I really don’t know if that goodbye was final. But I know now all the answers to the questions that have been tormenting me for so long. And, to be honest, I’m relieved. I’m happy. He doesn’t hate me. I wasn’t mad at him anymore, I told him that. One thing I didn’t tell him, and that was becase I was afraid to. It was that I miss hanging out with him, and that he was alot of fun to be around. sigh Oh well. But this chapter is finally coming to a close, and another one will begin in its wake.
We received your gorgeous photograph and application information. If you have questions or we can be of help call us or email us at _________ (respect for privacy).
CONGRATULATIONS! It is indeed a pleasure to welcome you as a ‘State Finalist’ for the title of MISS NEW YORK TEEN USA. Just imagine, you could be out next representative in the MISS TEEN USA PAGEANT where you would be in a top rated national television production on NBC, where you could appear with some of the television’s greatest celebrities.
You will arrice on Friday, November 24, 2006 at the Crowne Plaza Albany, New York for a fabulous fun filled weekend. For your pageant stay, you will be assigned a roomate to share a room. The pageant will make your reservations and pay for your room for pageant weekend of November 24, 25th, 26th, 2006. If you have any question whatsoever, please do not hesitate to conact us at _____ (respect of privacy). Just to be a part of such an extraordinary event as this pageant will be a worthwhile endeavor, and you should be proud of your determination and achievement.
I…
got…
ACCEPTED!
YES I DID IT I CAN’T BELIEVE IT! IT’S ALMOST TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE Nothing can ruin my day now, nothing
Now the only thing I have to do is come up with $1000 in 30 days and I’ll be all set! I’m going to start looking for sponsors and get a job at the club. I heard from a friend that they pay pretty decently. And hey why not? Every little bit with help alot.
