I hate a lot of things. I’m not sure if you’d know it or not. Maybe you could tell. Who knows.

I hate it when my little brother talks and talks and talks in an attempt to try and impress me, but in reality, he’s bragging about nothing important.

I hate it when my sister is a complete bitch to our brothers even when they didn’t do anything wrong. I hate it when she takes her anger against her dad and takes it out on them. I hate how, when I bring this up to her, she snarls at me instead of trying to change her behavior.

I hate how Dad thinks that, now that Derek’s been kicked out, our family is back to normal, and how he’s oblivious to the fact that that’s not the case. I hate how he continuously treats me like I’m an incompetent 12-year-old. I hate how, when something happens, Dad’s quick to blame everyone else, but will never take the blame himself. I hate how he’s always acting like my sister and brothers as purposefully doing things to make his life miserable.

I hated how Kasedy used to expect me to do everything for her without asking anything in return. I hated how she wouldn’t allow me to get mad at her, and blame me if it happened.

I hated how Eva, out of spite one day, ruined any chance I had at being with a crush I had back in the 8th grade, just because she “didn’t like me much at the time.”

I hated how Andy manipulated everyone into thinking I was the bad guy in every situation, just because I didn’t want to go out with him.

Most of all, I hate myself for being too cowardly to say these things aloud.

I hate how, no matter what I do, I still look like I should be Kimmie’s age. I hate that I have to put a ton of effort into my looks. I hate how I’ll break down into hysterical fits and burst into tears if I don’t understand a concept in math or science. I hate it when I always think that there’s nothing that can be done when I know that if I stopped to think about it, I’d find a solution. I hate how, when I was still in high school, I always stuck by the friends I had, even if some of those friends treated me awful, because I thought I wasn’t worthy of being anyone else’s friend. I hate how I can’t talk to new people very well because I feel like they won’t like me.

But more than anything, I hate how I still don’t trust the people who I’m supposed to trust. I hate the fact that my insecurities lead me to assume that if anything is done by anybody, it’s because they don’t like me. I hate how I can’t even trust my best friend enough to take his word to heart. I hate how I didn’t even realize this myself until last night.

What the hell is wrong with me? Why can’t I get past the past?! There was betrayal, but I thought I’ve moved on. I’ve had my share of bad friends, but he hasn’t done a thing to date that said to me he was a bad friend. And yet, I still assumed! I always assume like this! And it’s on of the things I hate the most! Because it’s precisely what Dad does, and I HATE IT!! At the rate I’ve been going, my friends didn’t hate me before, but they will in time. I’m awful. And I don’t know what to do.

It’s killing me, because I know what I did hurt him. I keep telling myself I won’t turn out like Dad, and HERE I AM DOING EXACTLY WHAT HE DOES!!! And I did the one thing that pushes my buttons. It’s the one reason why I get into fights with Dad nearly all the time. Because he blames someone, or he assumes they’re doing something to him when they’re NOT. AND I’M DOING THE EXACT SAME THING. I can’t even think anything other than I’m just like him, and I have the same qualities that Dad has; the qualities that led me to nearly despise him. I’m a pathetic, horrible person. And I don’t know what to do.

I’m so sorry for what I’ve done. You have every right to be furious with me. I know I deserve it.

Sorry.

I’m not going to bother talking about exactly what the fight was over; that doesn’t matter. It usually doesn’t.

Her final words to me were “U are all full of urself. U only care about u and only u. You have to demand everything from everyone. Im sorry that the world dont revolve around u and im sorry that you think ur shit dont stink and im sorry that your a self centered cunt this is the worst you have ever gotten grow up and look at urself for a change ur not all that hot and not everyone wants your nasty ass sorry.”

I think more than anything, I’m furious with her. I don’t know why it took me so long to see everything. Looking back, I realized that my friendship with her wasn’t really a friendship so much as it was me bending to her every whim and letting her walk all over me. Every time she’d ask for a favor, I’d help her without hesitation. When I had first received my driver’s license, I shuttled her to and fro; so much, that my dad had to draw the line, forbidding me to be “the cab driver” for my friends. Whenever I confronted her about one thing or another, she’d turn it around on me and make it my fault for whatever it was. If I got mad at her, it was my fault.

I kind of wonder if she ever noticed when I stopped being open with my life, when I stopped telling her things. I knew that it was fruitless to try and get any kind of support from her; whenever I’d come to her seeking a comforting shoulder, her sympathy would last about five seconds before she would launch into her own world of misery and drama. I never told her how I felt that she didn’t care about me at all. Instead, I played the role of obedient friend and listened to her woes, gave her advice when I could, and backed her up with most anything.

At first, when I had received that text, it hurt. Slowly, over time, however, I’ve grown completely outraged. Not because of the text itself, because of the fact we we have known each other for nearly ten years. We were supposed to be best friends, and yet it’s like she didn’t know me at all. And maybe that’s my fault for never telling her anything. I thought she was more observant though! I can’t believe she didn’t realize that whenever I compare myself to another person, it wasn’t “I’m so much better than them.” No, it’s more like “I wish I was as good a singer as she is,” or “I’ll never be on his level at soccer,” or “Kimmie’s boobs are bigger than mine,” or “I can’t get myself to look more adult like Kasedy can” or, “I’m not as good as this person” or “I wish I was more like this person”. Hell, I didn’t even need to compare myself! “I hate the way my legs look,” “My hair’s too frizzy,” “I suck at this and that”, “I can’t do anything right!”

I wish I was prettier. I wish I was smarter. I wish I could compete on their level.

How? How is that egoistical? How am I being full of myself?!

It was the “you’re selfish and no one wants you” thing that really got to me. I’m selfish, yet I put aside my own happiness and quietly suffer, just so I could focus more attention on you? I got into trouble with my dad numerous times over the car, because I would lie and use it for taking you places instead of wherever I said I was going. I stopped bothering going to you for consoling; instead I bottled up my pain so I could try and heal yours. I would give you all kinds of advice, I listened to every one of your problems. I comforted you when you needed a shoulder to cry on. I kept every last one of your secrets (though I can’t say the same for you and my secrets, thanks for nothing), and I will keep them till the day I die. For God’s sake, Kasedy, I stood by and said nothing, NOTHING, when you and Steve were dating behind your mom’s back, and hung out at my house! In front of me, where all I could do was just watch you and the guy I liked hang all over each other and kiss each other and tell each other how much you cared. And I hated you for it, but I still didn’t say anything, because you were supposed to be my best friend. I cared about you and wanted you to be happy because you were someone important to me, even if it meant sacrificing my own happiness. And all that, all of my unwavering loyalty, to the point of allowing you to treat me like shit, makes me selfish? So what is it, I wonder, that I’m supposed to do to make you take that back. Shall I kill myself? Take a bullet meant for you? Am I supposed to just shut up and be your slave? Treat you like the queen of the world?!

And you know, the thing that was drilled into my skull the most during that high school drama? Yea, it was “Nobody’s going to side with you, because nobody cares about you.”

So thanks, Kas. Thanks for telling me how you’ve felt over all these years. I should’ve realized it sooner, since it’s what you say every time we fight. I can’t believe I was so stupid and naive and thought you, of all people, could be considered a friend, you know, someone I could rely on and trust. I can’t believe I wasted so much of my life being your bitch, babying you and taking care of you and making sure that the world paid attention to you, because you’re SO worth it, right? I can’t believe I LET myself give you chance after chance after chance, ever when it was obvious that it wasn’t worth it.

I’m even more angry with myself, for being afraid to ditch you, because I didn’t talk to or hang out with my other friends all that much. I was afraid of rejection, and sometimes, I still am. I even let your words get to me! “Do they really care about me?” I’ve always pondered this, ever since I ditched my so-called “friends,” and made real friends. Logical me knows that they (meaning my present friends) do, but the rest of me, the loser, insecure me stoops so low as to question it. Because of what happened in high school. And now, because of you.

So here, I’ll be so kind as to do you a favor. Since I’m such a narcissistic bitch, how about I just cut you out of my life for good? Besides that, you’re a waste of my time. I’m better than that. Good luck with that baby, I’m sure you can find one of your friends to help take care of it (or take care of it for you, since I can’t fathom you being a RESPONSIBLE HUMAN BEING). And I’d wish you luck with the rest of your life, but I’m pretty sure that even my blessing wouldn’t be enough. Was that self-centered enough for you, or should I try harder? You’ll have to let me know, KASEDY, since I don’t know if I’M MEETING YOUR FUCKING EXPECTATIONS!!!

I don’t know how many of you know, but I have a FanFiction account (you can check it out here). I’ve written a few stories here and there, but I feel like I haven’t really written anything good. There are a couple of stories that I’m working on that a few people like, namely “Haunted” and ‘Retards of the Caribbean”, and I’ve got something like 8 reviews each. They aren’t good enough. I don’t know. I really want to write and update Haunted, especially since I haven’t written in it in over a year, and for ROTC I have a few ideas, but for the strangest reason I just can’t seem to get these plots on paper. And it’s aggravating! I want to write good stories so that 20, 30, and 40 people will comment on and like, like Kimmie’s stories.

She says I’m a “good writer,” but it’s a bias. People that are sucking up to me tell me my writing is good. This one guy on AIM who CLEARLY wants me to date him compliments my writing all the time. All they do is suck up. So maybe it isn’t good, maybe it sucks. I’d like for someone for just come straight out and be real, tell me I should just give up, that I really do suck at writing and to not be so full of myself.

But right now I just want to be able to actually write. I have several projects I want to work on, but I can’t get the thoughts out! AUGH! I WANT TO BASH MY HEAD INTO A WALL!

Actually, this goes for anyone else complaining about her singing “being too loud” when you ALL scream and yell through the house when SHE’S trying to work. Fuck you, go kill yourself, fuck off, and stfu. If you don’t like Mom’s belting, leave the god damn house, and fucking move out. SOME people actually NEED to move out too, so there. Bring it up to her again and you’ll be answering to my FIST. Well, more like my verbal bitch-slapping powers. Either way, you’ll feel broken on the inside when I’m through.

You know, after this and this and this, you would think that my parents, especially my dad, would understand what I think about them and their god damned assumptions. Well here’s a little refresher course since you’re obviously too senile to remember what I tell you.

You may have given birth to me and you may have raised me from the first day, but that doesn’t mean you know everything about me. You, mom, may be able to psychoanalyze me half the damned time, and you, Dad, are just a plain old asshole, but what the hell makes you think you can figure out my exact motives? Last I recall, NEITHER of you could read my mind, so how about you stop acting like you can before you start, and I won’t have a reason to even be tempted to punch somebody. (Maybe I’ll just go back to slicing up my arms in fits of rage; it’d be a little less harmful to others.)

(Before I really get in to it; I should inform you that this blog post is more directed to Dad. At least Mom has the brains to shut the fuck up and drop the subject)

For your information, I wasn’t being nosy, like some people are (Like oh, I don’t know, DAD). I heard my baby brother screaming outside, and I went out there to joke, to poke fun, because I thought he was randomly yelling like usual. So I went outside and randomly yelled, because I wanted to have fun. And when I heard him crying instead, the FIRST thing I thought was “I’m gonna have to smack someone around, aren’t I?”

First off, Dad, what gives you the right to tell me not to protect mymy little brother? Unlike you, I’m not a nosy little DICKHEAD who has no life outside of manga, anime, caffeine, motherboards, and sneaking buying/smoking packs of cigarettes behind everyone’s backs thinking that the rest of us don’t actually know he’s doing it (BECAUSE WE’RE TOTALLY AS RETARDED AS YOU, HUH?). Another thing; I wasn’t going outside intending to play the parent. I stayed outside because my brother was crying and something was wrong, and I just so happened to be there and I’m his big sister who can protect him every once in a while. I was actually INTENDING TO BREAK JONATHAN’S NOSE SINCE YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW SO BAD.

YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE. You scream at me for “treating him like crap.” Then you scream at me for being a good big sister and looking out for him. So what the fuck is it that you expect me to do!? How about I pretend he doesn’t exist? Like he was never born, and that he’s not really my brother, but some kid that just lives here? Every time you want me to take him somewhere, I’ll just say “I can’t. He doesn’t matter to me.” Or would you rather I just continue to hate on him and bully him like Jonathan? You immature, STUPID little man. Get it through your thick skull: I may have several common personality traits, BUT I’M NOT YOU. I’m a HELL of a lot more responsible, mature, and intelligent than you’ll ever be. And fuck you. Next time I hear Ricky outside crying, I don’t give two shits whether or not I’m his “father” or his “mother, or even his fucking GRANDMOTHER; I WILL go outside, and I WILL see what’s wrong, and I WILL beat the shit out of his little friends if the situation calls for it, because I’M HIS MOTHERFUCKING SISTER AND I HAVE AN OBLIGATION TO WATCH OUT FOR HIM, YOU FUCKING PRICK!

You are a thickheaded asshole who doesn’t know how to fucking listen and the only thing you’re good at doing is acting like the whole fucking world is AGAINST YOU, which is probably WHAT YOU WERE DOING EARLIER TONIGHT WHEN YOU POINTLESSLY BITCHED AT ME! DO ME A FAVOR AND GO FUCKING KILL YOURSELF OR SOMETHING, AND SAVE ME THE TROUBLE OF DOING IT MYSELF!

I’m not in the wrong for this one. You and your assumptions, however, are. For the last time, stop assuming that I’m that much like you. I have NO intentions of taking your father job away (though I guarantee that if I did, I would do 10x better than you could ever hope to do), but I have every intention of sticking up for my brother even if that means I have to supposedly “butt in” when you do ALL THE TIME, and UNNECESSARILY TOO.

So, yea, I hope you aren’t expecting an apology, because you don’t deserve one. FYI, I’mreally tired of your bullshit. Who knows? At the rate you’re going, I really will hate your guts. Congratulations. I hope that’s what you were trying to accomplish all these years; to be The Biggest Asshole G’s Ever Known in Her Entire Life, because you did a damned good job. For the record, I really do hope with all of my being that I don’t end up parenting my kids the way you have so far and especially recently.

It’s not even her fault. YOU’RE the ones who don’t cover up the food like sensible humans would in a house with animals. It’s a given fact; if you leave food exposed, an animal, dog or cat, WILL go and eat it. You STFU with any bullshit on your dog being “well-behaved”, Derek, before you even SAY anything. He definitely stole food AT LEAST ONCE IN HIS LIFE. In the meantime, cover up the food, RINSE OFF THE DISHES instead of being all hypocritical “oh you guys NEVER rinse anything off” bull crap, and thus Millie can’t get to the food, no matter how much she tries. At least she’s not pissing on the fucking counters, you idiots.

Secondly, Millie is old. She is old meaning that she’s not young, meaning that you all can, one of these days actually kill her. Did you ever take that into consideration.

Finally, and most importantly, Millie is a cat, but she is a living breathing creature. I don’t give two fucking shits if you’re “disciplining her” or not, you are abusing her. I don’t see you taking a broom and beating one of us, therefore you have NO RIGHT to take a broom and beat her. I bet neither of you would like it if I took a broom and smashed your faces in, now would you? Now take that, and multiply it by 20-50. That is probably how Millie feels, you assholes.

DEREK especially; you keep telling us to get to the dishes before you “kill Millie.” I don’t care if that’s not literal; IT’S FUCKING WRONG, AND I DON’T FUCKING APPRECIATE THE FACT THAT YOU BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF MY CAT FOR DOING SOMETHING YOU COULD HAVE EASILY PREVENTED. Next time you do it, maybe I’ll beat the shit out of YOU with a broom or a bat, SEE HOW YOU FUCKING LIKE IT. I swear to fucking god, if I find out that Millie ends up dying because of any one of you and that fucking broom, I will take that broom and fucking break your faces in with it. Take that broom and shove it up your fucking ass.

You said I “threw a compliment back in your face”? How the hell is “why do you wear such skimpy clothing?” a compliment? You implied that I’m trampy! And, for your information, I’m definitely NOT FUCKING TRAMPY YOU ASSHOLE. Oh, and in case you didn’t get it the first time, I DON’T wear “skimpy clothing”. The clothing I wear is perfectly FINE. Since you’re too blind to tell, my Myspace default pic is a picture of me showing off my NEW BATHING SUIT! How is a bikini skimpy?! YOU WEAR IT IN PUBLIC.

The next thing I am going to confront; all of your insults. I’m sorry, I don’t care how pissed off you are at me; I don’t take being called a “fucking whore” all too well. I’m not a whore. I don’t date just anymore, and I most certainly don’t fuck just anyone either. Oh and, I’m not going to die any time soon, I’m not going to hell (but YOU probably will), I’m not worthless nor am I a piece of shit.

Among other things, of the two of us, I think YOU’RE the one who’s wasted MY time. I didn’t realize how much of a PMSing bitch you were, and I didn’t realize that you’d flip out over the TINIEST things/nothing like some pre-pubescent loser. You have no right to tell me never to talk to you again. I’M THE ONE WHO WANTS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU, AND YOU NEVER FUCKING TALK TO ME AGAIN. Until you actually GROW THE FUCK UP AND ACT YOUR AGE, I don’t want to deal with you. You’re not 12 anymore, you’re 20-21. You’re an adult; ACT LIKE ONE.

Bassett has a hell of a lot of nerve saying that they’re a reliable health care service. Ha! All they really care about is making as much money as they can; they don’t care about what the patient wants. They only want the patient to be obedient and do whatever they say.

Anyway, I’ve completely lost all respect for Kelly, the doctor who was supposed to set me up with a referral to the orthopedic in Buffalo. I take back everything I said about her being “willing to help me.”

When I had gone to see her on Wednesday… well a couple of weeks ago, I had asked if she could refer me out to the Dr. Bisson in Buffalo, because I felt that someone who had published research on clavicle osteonomies would definitely know what he was doing, and I wanted to be positively sure that the surgeon who was going to operate on me wasn’t going to kill me for not knowing what he was doing.

A couple of days later, my mom called me to let me know that Kelly had received the medical information from Ithaca Orthopedic Group. The message passed to me was “Kelly wants to refer you to one of the Bassett orthopedics in Oneonta but if you want to be referred out to the orthopedic in Buffalo, she’ll see what she can do.”

So I had given their office a call, letting them know “I would like to be referred to the orthopedic in Buffalo, kthnkbai.” And they seemed perfectly fine with it, though Barbara had said “Kelly would really like for you to see one of the orthopedics in Oneonta first,” but I made it very clear that they weren’t needed. So they said that they’d work on getting the referral for me.

Anyway, on Friday, I was awoken my a call on my cell phone. This time, it was Connie, one of Kelly’s nurses. She told me that Kelly “couldn’t refer me out to Buffalo because it was out of her network, buuuuuut she could still refer me to one of the orthopedics at the Bassett center in Oneonta.”

At the time, I told her I’d “get back to her later.”

Earlier today, mom called up GHI inquiring about the network. And, as I thought before, it’s statewide. Nothing is stopping Kelly from making that referral, because Dr. Bisson IS in the GHI network. So, after I found out this info, I called the office once again. Barbara was the one who answered the phone, and the conversation went as thus:

“Hi, I’m Regina Baker. I was called a couple of days ago about the referral to Buffalo.”

“Okay, hold on one moment.”

*on hold*

“Hello Regina? Connie’s not available right now.”

“That’s okay. Anyway, I was told by Connie that Kelly couldn’t make the referral because it was out of her network. But I made a call to GHI today and I was told that I can be referred to anyone in the state who takes GHI. So… can Kelly refer me out to the doctor in Buffalo, please?”

“Kelly left a message saying that she wasn’t comfortable with that referral.”

“… Is that so.”

“She’s had a lot of success with referrals to the orthopedics in Bassett’s Oneonta Center.”

“Yea, but those doctors can’t help me. The reason why I wanted to be referred to the doctor in Buffalo is because he can help me.”

“Kelly isn’t willing to make a referral out to that doctor.”

“Really. And, if you don’t mind me asking, why is that?”

“I don’t know, ma’am. But if you’d like, I can leave a message for her to see if she’ll make the referral anyway.”

“Yes, you go do that. Thank you.”

“Bye.”

*hangs up without responding*

That stupid bitch Kelly isn’t willing to make that SIMPLE referral, because Dr. Bisson isn’t in the Bassett network, therefore Bassett won’t be making any money. So she’d rather send me to a useless orthopedic just so the company can leech more insurance money from me. She’d rather make more money than help me fix my problem. And all she needs to do is fill out ONE STINKING REFERRAL, and send it to Dr. Bisson! And schedule me an appointment! And how do I know that’s the reason? Not just because of other experiences our family has had with stupid Bassett doctors, but because the specific quote “Kelly isn’t willing to refer you out to Buffalo.” and how they kept pushing to get me to go to the stupid Oneonta center to see their doctors who won’t be able to do SHIT!

Fuck you! I’m not going to let you pull me away from where I know I’m going to go. I don’t give two craps if you’d rather I see your orthopedics. I’M NOT GONNA GO SEE ‘EM! I know Dr. Bisson is gonna be the best doctor who can help me, and so I’m gonna go see him, and if you aren’t going to give me that simple referral, then I’m gonna find someone who will!

And already, I’ve found a local doctor who owns a private practice, and is an independent. Therefore, he won’t get on my god damn case about seeing a “specific doctor” and that bullshit. I’m sure he’ll give me the referral I need, for sure. Hell, I probably can get the referral from Dr. Krauss when I got see Laurie at the Ortho Group here in Ithaca.

As for Bassett? Well, they can all go kill themselves. I’m NEVER gonna see ANY Bassett doctors for as long as I live.

Peter, I don’t care if you think my opinions are warped and insane. I don’t really care if you’re right and I’m wrong. What I do care about is when you call me stupid. Regardless of what my tweets earlier did to have an affect upon your opinion of my smarts, I’ll tell you right now, I’m far from stupid. And I particularly don’t appreciate you calling me that.

Twitter is awesome for talking about simple things, but you can’t have a real discussion on it, especially when you have a lot to say. 140 characters just doesn’t do it. So I’ll write down here what I was trying to say there. Read it, don’t read it. Change your mind about my opinion, or don’t, whatever. But, honestly, even though I don’t even know who you are, it hurt when you called me stupid.

This is what I think; this world is fucked over. Our nation is fucked. It has been for years. This recession isn’t the start of it, nor is it the ending. And we have, more or less, been digging this grave for ourselves for a great deal of time. It’s because the people that lead us are a pack of retards and the majority of people in this country are retarded. The way big corporations were, and still are, being retarded with their money, and the way the government kept turning what seemed like a permanent blind eye, the economy was doomed to fuck up. I look at it, and this all reminds me of the Gilded Age back in the early 1900’s, when corporations had the government more or less wrapped around their fingers. Nowadays, the gov’t cares about the big businesses, they don’t want to do anything that would hinder the big businesses, and they ignore us, let alone the small businesses and micro businesses. And even though it was clear that the corporations, and Wall st., needed regulation, the gov’t kept saying “lasseiz faire, lasseiz faire,” like they thought what they did a century ago would actually work this time around.

Of course, we all know how it ended at the end of the Roaring Twenties, with a depression that so far has yet to be beat. Until maybe now.

Now everyone’s saying “Oh, we need to regulate this and regulate that, and we’ll make sure that this never happens again.” It’s more than that, though. The higher ups need to acknowledge small businesses and how they play a major role in the economy. That’s what I was trying to say before when I said that they’re thinking is old-fashioned. Times are changing, things are changing, and in order to keep up with this change, we need to adapt our thoughts, and up until now (unless Obama indeed turns out to be full of shit like you say he is) no one has done that.

Concerning the New World Order… Our country, and pretty much every other country in the world, relies on everyone else to get by. A lot of our economy relies on the economies of the countries we do business with, essentially. Interdependence and all that; how countries depend on other countries. We’re more or less globalized to a tee. So, if the economies of other countries starts going down the shitter, and if the global economy in general is going down the shitter, then logically our economy will go down the shitter too. And unless we cut off all ties from the rest of the world and go back to our Pre-World War I, pre-internationalistic ways, I highly doubt that we’ll be able to make a comeback here on the homefront without doing something to repair the global economy.

The G20 conference may have seemed like a meet and greet and/or a waste of time, but for a long time, the United States has been more or less the world leader. And, well, looking back at what Bush put us through, and how things started fucking up, and especially considering how interdependent we are presently, I sort of feel like a balancing of powers was inevitable. China, Britain, etc, are becoming superpowers… actually it’s more like they’re superpowers already. And they more or less had to deal with whatever we did when we wanted to do it. The Iraq War (the biggest waste of time ever) was just one example of it. With the way Obama approached this conference, and promoted this NWO, everyone’s on the same level, and yea, they’re all trying to fix the “failed capitalism” and whatnot, but in a more broad sense, it’s better to have the countries collaborating than having one country boss the others around. That would eventually blow up in our face, I’m sure. That’s what I was trying to say when I meant that the NWO might not be such a bad thing.

And yes, I agree that our system of capitalism is retarded. But, it’s not capitalism as a whole that’s failed. We can still keep using it if we just cut out the pieces that are tripping us constantly.

I personally think that the real problem is credit. You give your debt to someone else in exchange for some more debt from some other person. It’s almost like we’re not even using money to buy things anymore; we’re using debt. The higher ups want us to keep borrowing and borrowing, and seriously, that’s the most stupidest thing I’ve ever heard of. Borrowing? Why not use real money that we actually have. Because of everyone’s hyperactive borrowing, the economy for the longest time looked like it was going stellar (though in reality, out wallets were showing otherwise). And then the borrowing and debt caught up with us all, and look at were we are now. You want to eliminate this whole damn problem? Eliminate credit. Let’s make it so that we pay with our OWN money, that we KNOW we have, instead of paying with essentially nothing. (This was another thing I was talking about with the old-fashioned thinking; that the gov’t wants us to use credit, even though it blew up in our faces in the late 1920’s, and it’s obviously doing it again now).

That may have looked like rambling, and since I suck at transitions, it might as well be rambling, but this is the gist of what I wanted to say on Twitter. See what I meant when I said it’s hard to have a really good discussion? Sometimes, I have a lot to say — this happened to be one of those times.

You can still think my opinions are completely irrelevant to reality. And you can still be right about all of this. You may or may not read this post, and you may or may not comment and whatnot. But I wanted to just make something clear; I’m not a stupid person. Please don’t call me stupid. I don’t really appreciate being humiliated for trying to voice my opinion.

And I don’t understand it!!! I don’t know why I don’t understand it!!! I’ve been working on my statistics homework for nearly 3 hours, and it NEVER takes me this long to do homework! OMFG THIS PISSES ME OFF!!!! So FUCK IT!!! FORGET THIS STUPID ASSIGNMENT!!!