It started out as what was supposed to be a fun joyride around the southern tier of NY. My little sister and I were in the back seat; she was passenger’s side, I was driver’s. My two friends Brian and Joey were in front, and Brian was driving.

We had taken the backroads to Oneonta; the whole way there I would warn him about dangerous curves and times when he’d want to slow down. We were going pretty fast, between 60 and 70 most of the time. Luckily, I know those roads like the back of my hand. But I don’t blame Bhoff, I mean, I love driving fast too. It’s fun. We were just unlucky that night.

We decided that it would be fun to drive to Delhi from Oneonta, and then take the backroads to Sidney from there via a route that Derek and Mom had taught me. I had driven it a couple of times, and while I didn’t know those roads as well as I knew others, I knew it’d be a fun drive.

We drove up over the hill on route 28 just outside of the city. Brian had just passed a car and was still going pretty fast. I think he was coasting down to speed (I do that ALL the time, seriously. Easier on the brakes). I don’t remember saying it, but Kimmie told me later that I had said “You should probably slow down.” The music, Guns N’ Roses, was blaring though. We were enjoying ourselves, even if we had to scream at the top of our lungs just to hear each other. A car was coming up the other way, and didn’t turn down their high beams as they drove by. It blinded me and I assume Brian too, at the very least, because I didn’t see the sign that warned us of the curve up ahead. When my vision cleared, the first thing I saw were the yellow arrow signs usually associated with sharp turns, and it was about that point that I knew that something awful was going to happen.

On the way down the hill, 28 has a relatively sharp left turn as route 357 splits off and bears right. If I had to guess the speed at which that sign probably says, I’d have to say it probably recommended to take the speed at anywhere between 35 and 45 mph. I can usually get my dad’s car around any curve at approximately 15 mph over the speed listed on the sign. We could’ve gotten around that curve at 50, 55mph maybe even 60 if the recommended speed was 45. I think we hit that curve at speeds closer to 70.

The rear end spun out and around as we entered the turn. I think it actually took Brian by surprise, the way his hands jerked on the steering wheel. I don’t blame him; I saw that turn at the last minute as well. The instant we were off the road, I started to scream. I couldn’t stop screaming. I grabbed hold of Brian’s seat in front of me and braced myself for what I expected to be a very painful end. And the whole time I was just screaming Brian’s name, over and over. Perhaps a small part of me inwardly thought I could somehow channel my energy through to him and give him the power to stop the car. A bit naive of me, if I do say so myself.

We plowed through a road sign, flew off the ground over the slight incline, careered across the road that merged with 28, and slammed into a tree. I’m sure we hit it at speeds anywhere between 50 and 65. Initially, the car was moving sideways. I’m sure that we probably would have started rolling if Brian hadn’t kept his cool as well as he did. And I don’t know how he managed to more or less straighten us out, but he did, and while it resulted in us hitting the tree on the driver’s side, I’m positive that he saved our lives.

I screamed as the car buckled around me. I watched as the tree came through Brian’s door, shattering the glass and smashing the metal. I screamed as debris hit my face and shoulders. The entire side of the car we were on gave way inward. Brian’s seat came back and rammed against me, wedging my foot underneath. I couldn’t budge it. I thought in that instant, that I was going to crushed by hot, twisted metal, that I was going to die right then and there. My sister immediately came to mind; I knew she was right there next to me, and I could only think of the fact that I had invited her to come along and she could be dying right here with me.

We all jerked as the car came to an abrupt stop. I remember half-shrieking “Brian?!” I was instantly concerned about Brian, as I had watched him slam into the steering wheel. His head lolled about slightly for a few seconds before he managed to slur “Is everyone okay?” I went to move, but my foot was stuck. The smell was terrifying, and smoke was coming up from the engine. And I couldn’t move. I had to get out of the car and I couldn’t move. Brian made to move his seat back but I screamed “Don’t move the seat Brian, I can’t move my foot! I can’t move my foot! Oh my God, I can’t move!”

Kimmie was there, asking me about my foot. I pushed her away, not wanting her to stay in the wreckage any longer than necessary. I half-snapped in reply, “It’s stuck!” In a rush of adrenaline, I wrenched my foot out, abandoning my sandals in the process. I didn’t realize it until later, but that sandal probably saved my foot from seriously being crushed.

We climbed out of the car; Brian sat on the trunk (more or less intact, considering the condition of the rest of the vehicle) with blood covering his arm. There was already a couple (married, I assume) at the side of the road, making sure we were okay and calling 9-1-1 (which is good, because I had no service). I went back periodically to check on Brian, who was apologizing over and over and saying how he screwed up and that he was so sorry. I told him to just not think about it; that we’re all alive. EMS arrived and took over, sending me off to get checked. In retrospect, I should’ve provided neck stabilization until they arrived, but I wasn’t thinking about anything other than calming him down. We were questioned about the situation. I think I retold the story like, 50 times in the span of 5 minutes. The state trooper took my license. I haven’t seen it since (that bastard).

The EMS people took Joey, Kimmie and I by ambulance over to Fox. Brian had been back-boarded and transported ahead of us. The EMS crew were very lighthearted and nice and it helped to brighten the mood a little. I’m only amazed at how they can maintain such a cheerful demeanor considering the kinds of things they have to deal with on a day-by-day basis.

At the hospital, my hand, clavicle and shoulder were x-rayed. Nothing was broken, to my surprise (well, not the thumb because I already knew it was sprained). They gave me a sling and a splint for my thumb and sent me off. No offense, but the ER doctor was kind of an ass. Mike, the receptionist that Kimmie had told me about when her throat was bleeding after her surgery, was around, and he was pretty awesome in the few seconds that we interacted. Yes, he looks like he should be in Green Day’s band.

I plan on following up with Dr. Wiesner (an orthopedic) and Dr. Aaronson (a dentist… one of my teeth was knocked out of place and it HURTS). I sprained my right thumb, and SOMETHING happened to my left clavicle, I’m sure. One of my teeth, like I said, is out of place. Scrapes and bruises here and there, and a very sore neck are the only injuries besides those three.

The ride home was terrifying. Mom drove slower than she usually does, and I was pressed as far back against my seat as I could get. My shoulders were so tense, I could feel the knots forming.

Since then, I keep replaying the crash over and over in my head. Sucks that I couldn’t just close my eyes so I didn’t have to watch it happen. My mind prevented me from doing so, as if I could somehow see what was coming and dodge whatever came my way. If I don’t actively stop myself from thinking about it, the images come back as strong as ever.

I don’t think we’ve ever been as lucky as we were last night. I feel like if we had hit that any different, I wouldn’t be sitting here typing this blog post. All I know is, I’m just extremely thankful that we’re all alive and okay.

Anyway, it’s about 7 days, give a few hours, since I sustained my concussion. My follow-up for my concussion says I still have a concussion. Dr. Getzin recommend mental and physical rest, of course, and advised me to push back my midterms thank God; I was worried about that. I had taken my Bioethics midterm last Thursday and I couldn’t finish it . He said “no exercise”, which I knew and had already been doing with frustration (I hate not playing soccer). I still get headaches, and they worsen when I have to really concentrate on something. The sunlight hurts too, and not just my head but my eyes. Sleeping does help and I should do more of that, but since I’m going home in a couple of days, and since I don’t have a life outside of the house and Nat’s place, I think sleep won’t be an issue.

… Crap. I shouldn’t have stopped typing this to pull up a song… now I can’t remember what I was gonna write. Yea, my short-term memory has improved, but it’s not back to the way it was. Um… yea. Since I don’t remember what else I was going to say, I guess I’m done with this blog post =/

The pain’s gotten better, but the bruises sure haven’t, lol. It sorta looks like death. I’ll take a pic or two and I’ll post another time.

So first off, to reassure anyone who was worried about it, my knee’s fine. The doctor I saw told me that it was just a minor strain and so long as I iced i and used my brace, I’d be fine. And my knee’s doing good now too. Which is awesome, seeing as how I have a soccer game tonight.

Of course, G wouldn’t be G without fucking something else up to make up for the healed injury; I went ahead and re-fractured my tailbone Thursday night after I tripped over a guy that I had knocked over 5 seconds before (he’s cute too, lol). Wonderful stuff let me tell you.

Moving on… the doctor I saw on Wednesday I also saw to see if I can get started on correcting my clavicle. I know that you readers have probably read about this whole fiasco, and I’ll let you know, I’ve made some more progress. The doctor was perfectly willing to help me out, and I had to sign three different release forms so the doctor can get all the medical information that’s been accumulated over the years. Once she reviews that info, she’d be able to refer me, and not just to any doctor, but the doctor I was wanted to go to! This makes me a lot happier than I was when I started out on this nightmare of an adventure.

Infant’s still an infant… I don’t know how many of you actually know who I’m talking about, but to summarize, he’s very retarded and immature, hence why I call him Infant. I sorta feel like I need to slap him around to get it through his thick skull that there is no way in all hell I would EVER go out with him. Even if he was the last man on earth, I wouldn’t even contemplate it. I’d probably kill myself instead.

In other news, the sun burned me, again. So now I’m gonna actually be careful in the early track season when I’m out in the sun for 8 hours non stop (I was working at the meet as opposed to actually competing). Other than that, I’ve been putting the lotion on the affected areas and whatnot. Hopefully the peeling won’t be as bad as when I got burnt last year…. THAT was hellish…

Oh! I promised I’d get you a picture of my tattoo, did I not? Well here you go; take a gander:

G's new tat

It’s going well… actually, it’s currently going no where, since I’m waiting for our insurance to actually kick in before I start talking to people. So far, however, I have two prospective (I don’t think this word is even in context but whatever. It’s Monday, sue me) orthopedics on my mind that I hope I’ll be able to see one of them for my clavicle.

The first one, Dr. Toni McLauren, is a trauma/fracture specialist based in New York City. I learned about her with the help of a wonderful communications coordinator at NYU’s medical center (I didn’t know they had a med school… potential school for later on yaaaaaay), and got her contact info and everything. She even takes GHI, which is awesome, because that’s the kind of health insurance we’re about to get. Another plus is that NYU’s med center is a research hospital. Cutting edge stuff, the most up to date technology. Good stuff, indeed.

And what I like even more about Dr. McLauren is that she’s female — I never find female orthopedic surgeons, and I’ll be honest, I have a personal bias for female doctors, since 1) the majority of doctors I’ve seen are female, and 2) males doctors just seem more stupid, 3) female doctors just seem more in tune to understanding their patient’s needs and 4) Male dentists traumatize me (a little off subject, but it matters). The only downside to this is that she’s in the city. No, it has absolutely nothing to do with transportation — I’d love to go back down to the city since it’s been a while since I’ve been down there. The issue related more to the insurance company.

I’m not sure how GHI works, and more than anything I don’t know how big my ‘network’ is. I don’t know if it’s within 100 miles of where I live (that’s the only way we could search), and I don’t know if it’s more likely that I can see anyone in the state of NY without too much trouble. If it is a 100 mile radius, then I’m going to have to jump through a hell of a lot of hoops to get downstate to see McLauren.

The other doctor, who was recommended to me by an ATC on Yahoo Answers, is Dr. Leslie J. Bisson, based in the orthopedic facility at the University of Buffalo’s med school (another potential school for later yaaaaay). He’s actually done research and published studies specifically on clavicular osteonomies. And if that’s not a good sign that he’d be a good candidate for such, I don’t know what would be.

The only thing is that he’s definitely more than 100 miles away, just like McLauren is. And actually, I don’t even know if the guy takes GHI. He is a bit closer than McLauren, but not within that 100 miles radius, once again. So we’ll just have to hope that, once again, I’ll be able to jump through enough hoops to get me sent to either one of these doctors.

(Honestly, I feel like I’d be better off seeing an orthopedic who’s based in a med school, and I’m not exactly sure why, but they seem like they’re more… idk… experienced… that’s not the best word to describe it. I’m gonna assume you know what I’m talking about)

Of course, it still doesn’t solve the insurance idiot problem. But since I had a few tricks of my sleeve as well, I have the feeling that in the end, I’m gonna get my freakin’ way. After all, I know the insurance people don’t really care, but they will care if I continuously give them hell every day until they do listen to what I have to say *evil grin*.

I haven’t heard from Dr. Krauss about anything, and I haven’t quite figured out everything I need to about the insurance, but at the moment, I’m trying to find a very specific thing, and I need your help.

Orthopedic surgeons do a lot, but in actuality, a lot of them are specialists. I’m looking for a orthopedic with a shoulder specialty and experience with surgical repair of clavicles. I’m already working on getting info from others who have had surgeries and such, but I would very much appreciate it if you all looked into shoulder specialists in the Northeast, preferably. Please let me know what you come up with. I want to get this treated before school ends for the summer, because my student health insurance ends at the end of the semester, so I wouldn’t have that added coverage.

And to those of you that help, thank you so much.

I didn’t actually see an orthopedic surgeon, because I guess the universal rule is that you can never visit an orthopedic directly; you have to get referred to them by the whole world first. So I saw Dr. Krauss (hoping that’s how his name is spell) instead.

So, we started out with me telling him absolutely everything I knew about what had happened. I told him ab… oh! That reminds me. I don’t think I told you about my epiphany… well I’ll tell it to you the way I told Dr. Krauss.

Basically, this injury occurred a couple of years ago during school late March, 2007. I recall playing soccer in the gym after eating lunch, and I remember someone (I think it was Steve… knowing him like I think I do, it probably was) sandwiching me up against the wall really… lack of a word~… and after lunch period was when my clavicle was bothering me so much. Mom looked at it after school, said it was bent, and we saw the doctor the next day, and nothing got accomplished.

I told Krauss about my theory of it being a bowing fracture, and I told him about the few case studies I compared symptoms to, even if those case studies were ulnar bowing fracture. Anyway, he took a look at me, requested I get an x-ray on my spine (because he thought that I had a curve in the spine that was affecting the prominence of the deformity). He left to talk to the radiologist while I sat in the freezing exam room, pissed that he thought, of all things, that my spine was somehow part of the problem.

Anywho, he came back, and told me I had slight curvature (and honestly, who doesn’t? No one’s perfect), but it probably wasn’t affecting the clavicle all that much.

The good news; he told me, straight up, that he believed my self-diagnosis was absolutely correct, and he gave me a couple of tips to look for case studies that relate to the clavicle so I could better compare (you’ll see why in a minute). The bad news; since it’s been two years since the incident, putting an amazing amount of pressure on the bone just isn’t going to work. I’m going to need to get an osteotomy if I want to fix this clavicle. And guess what, folks! That’s not all.

Surgery on the clavicle takes a specialist, and I mean a specialist. This means, that if I get the surgery done, I may very well have to travel to NYC, or even Boston, to get this treated. That’s pretty expensive traveling wise, so most likely I’d be going by myself (and that’s gonna be scary as hell). Another potential problem is cost. I’ll need to get a CAT scan, among other things, and I know that while insurance helps pay for a good chunk of the cost, my clavicle could very well be classified a “pre-existing condition” and they won’t help pay for treatment. Maybe we ca find a loophole in that… who knows?

So right now, I’m waiting to hear about the situation regarding our health insurance before I figure out if I’ll be able to go through with it. And once I’ve done that, I’ve got a hell of a lot of research to do. I have to thank Krauss, though. He told me he’d look into clavicle specialists and help out with researching the treatment of a “plastic deformation clavicle fx” (fx = fracture). Those were the Google terms he gave me. So hey, I think you all should help research too. The search terms are in the quotation marks earlier in this paragraph. You’ll learn a thing or two. I know I’ve learned a shit load since I started on this little and tedious expedition.

But there you have it. To the stupid doctors: I. Fucking. Told. You. So. What the fuck now, BITCH! In the meantime, I’m not giving up on getting treatment — if there’s a will there’s a way. Just because I might have to travel a few hours doesn’t mean I’m not going to get it done.

And while Krauss was telling me “Well, I wouldn’t let my daughter go through with it, just because it’s a very delicate operation” — you need to do everything EXACT and perfect, or you fuck up everything — “And who knows if it’ll actually get rid of the pain”, I say that, well, may be it’ll work, and may be it won’t. But we won’t know unless we try? I’m not sue-happy, if that’s what you were concerned about, Krauss. I wouldn’t sue if you messed up — I’d just make you fix the mistake. The only exception is if I die because of something directly related to the surgery/treatment. In that case, I gave my mom permission to sue on my behalf. But since they’re specialists, and they’re orthopedic surgeons, I have faith that they know what they’re doing.

I’ll keep you all posted.

So what happened was really simple; Carl, my PT, came in, asked how I was doing and whatnot. I told him that I was fine, and as I was handing him the x-rays to look at, I told him about how I came across something over the weekend (see this to learn what I’m talking about) which led me to believe that the problem with my clavicle was a bowing fracture. He noticed something weird with my rib (and I agree it’s weird, but I didn’t see, and still don’t see, what that had to do with my clavicle, I know for sure that it was irrelevant and non-problematic), and then left for what felt like a million years, but was probably only ten minutes.

At the time, I wasn’t sure what to think, because when he was looking at the x-rays, he didn’t seem to be listening to me, but I didn’t let it deter me. While he was out doing whatever with the x-rays, I was formulating an argument to use along with my in-depth analysis. I’d make him listen and understand and at least acknowledge where I’m coming from.

So, he returned, gave me back the x-rays and whatnot. He told me he wasn’t a radiologist so he didn’t know what is was, but something in the clavicle, to him, seemed off. I told him, once again, about what I thought about my clavicle having at one point a bowing fracture (I explained what it was and typical symptoms, and basically, I was being as detailed as I could), and described how my symptoms matched the case study that I came across. Most likely to make sure I was being valid with my info, he asked me “What site did you find that on?” And I told him “Hawaii.edu”. .EDU websites are, obviously, usually education institutes, and I even told him how to find the page. We were talking about treatments, because he had said “But since it isn’t a break…” and I said “You can’t reduce something like that, because it isn’t a clear break. I think at one point I might have had a hairline fracture that healed, but that doesn’t mean the bone at this point can be reduced.” He agreed with me on that.

Once I was finished saying what I had to say, he said to me: “I think you should schedule an appointment to see Dr. Getzin again. I honestly don’t know what to do with this; your tendons are fine, your joints are fine, your muscles are fine. Did those exercises help any?” I told him ‘no’ an he continued with “I can’t help you with this, I’m sorry.”

I told him that it wasn’t a problem, and I thanked him for listening to me and my input, and I went off on my way.

So now, I’m scheduled to visit Dr. Getzin at 1:30 tomorrow, and I’ll tell him everything I’ve learned and what I think, and see what he thinks. He seems like the type of person who’ll listen, so hopefully my expectations will be met. I’m expecting him to refer me to an orthopedic because at this point, even the PT has established that this is quite strictly a bone problem. I can’t think of any kind of doctor that would be necessary to see other than an orthopedic. And for all I know, he won’t refer me at all. Of course, if it comes down to that, I’ll find a way to get to an orthopedic myself, but Getzin doesn’t seem like that kind of person.

So my verdict? I think the PT I was seeing wasn’t conceited, and I’m glad he listened to me and didn’t brush me off like I didn’t know what I was talking about. He seemed to think that I was perfectly valid with the opinion that I had formed. And he told me, straight up, that he couldn’t help me with it, instead of acting like he could. So props to him.

As for the next step… well, I’m sure I’ll find out tomorrow.

My verdict? I don’t really know what to think or say.

I’d like to say we didn’t get anything accomplished, if only I knew what they, in particular, were trying to accomplish. I know I didn’t get anything accomplished.

We started out with examining my clavicle, and ended up with giving me exercises for my lower trapezius muscle (on my left side, back), because my left scapula moves differently compared to my right scapula. Wanna know how? See for yourself:

Note: just watch how both scapulae move. You’ll see a subtle difference. When the left scapula moves drastically different compared to my right, that’s due to the motion of my arms, because I was working in a very cramped space. Pay attention to the very slight differences, which means you’ll have to actually look for them.

PS – Those clips are not suppose to imply anything sexual at all, to those of you who are too retarded to think otherwise. You can see the scapular movement best when there’s nothing covering it.

In my humble opinion, I feel like the freakish scapula has more to do with the fact that I’m right handed. If it was somehow affected by/affecting my clavicle, I have the feeling the AC joint would’ve been involved and/or affected as well, and it isn’t. So in terms of fixing my clavicle problem, I’d say personally we got zero accomplished.

Moving along, if anything’s changed at all, I’d say it’d be my SC joint, because it feels like they strained something trying to distract it. Idiots. Whatever, I’m just gonna go through with this trial, which I already know isn’t gonna fix anything, and get rechecked so I can get referred to the orthopedic already. I’m assuming they’re keeping surgery as an option when nothing else is gonna work. *sigh* You would think they’d get that it probably would come to that, but whatever. Like I said, I’ll go through with it (unless they do something stupid like fuck up my SC joint or something to that effect), and I’ll be patient. I know I’ll eventually see who I want to see.

Anyway, this morning I had Kinesiology lab and were were doing Manual Muscle Tests (testing a specific muscle group for strength and to see if there’s any pain, if there’s any at all) and goniometric measurements of the lower extremities (lower body, feet to hips, basically). Anyway, setting aside my minorly sprained ankle (which I may tell you about in a minute), I made a discovery about my knees.

Goniometry is the measurement of angles, basically. In kinesiology’s case, the angles are our joints, thus we’re measuring the range of motion of that joint. When measuring the knee, the start value is our knee extended, straightened, but not fully extended. When we measure the full extension of the knee, we’re measuring how much it hyper-extends. Sooooo, I got my knees’ ranges of motion measured.

When you measure the degree of extension when it comes to the knee, you prop the foot up on something — a sweatshirt, a book, something similar — and allow gravity to pull your knee “backwards” until it locks. My left knee was relatively normal, it’s extension range of motion was 3°, a relatively normal range. My right knee, on the other hand, was a completely different story.

When we propped it on the sweatshirt, it didn’t lock. This meant that it wasn’t fully extended. So, I tried to adjust my foot’s position, but by the time she actually took the measurement, it still wasn’t fully extended. But even with it not being fully extended, the measurement we got was 19°. So, I’m saying that my estimated ROM for my right knee is at least 20°. One of these days, I want to get a more accurate measure.

So, it totally threw me off when I found out my right knee was about 16° more extensible than my left knee. When I thought about it, I figured hey, maybe that’s why I’m having ligament and tendon problems with my right knee, and maybe that’s why I always hyper-extend my left.

So, anyone else have any thoughts to add to this? Any questions you might want to ask? I’ll answer what I can. So be sure to check your comments, because I don’t think I have a plug-in that notifies commenters if/when their comment is replied to.

Oh, before I go, I said I was gonna tell you about my ankle, right? Well, if I didn’t who cares? I’m telling you anyway!

Okay, so, last Friday, some of the female members of the track team met up to play Ultimate Frisbee (I’m not running track this year, unfortunately, so Coach probably hates me…). It was really fun and all.

So the field we were playing on, one of our endzones was actually sloped a little. You can sort of see where this is going. Well, towards the end of our scrimmage, I was on offense cherry picking the end zone. Kris… Kristen (?) threw me the frisbee, and I turned to try and catch it. When I missed, I turned back around and rolled my ankle REALLY bad. I felt a small pop, and it hurt like a BITCH for a while. I walked back over to our end (because we eventually scored), rubbed it a few times, and then shrugged it off and continued playing. While it didn’t hurt all that much (or maybe it did and I was too focused on the game to actually notice) during the game, when I finished eating and went back to my room, it was killing me. Later that night, it was swollen. With the advice of my good friend Steve (yes folks, he’s still very much alive), I propped it up on my desk and the swelling did go down.

I’m checking my ankle right now and… it looks like… there’s no swelling. But occasionally, when I walk, there’s a shooting pain that goes down my talus, and sometimes on the underside of my foot too. It’s not a crippling pain, but it’s noticeable enough to be annoying and slightly painful.

There you have it. Okay, leave comments with theories and questions if you have any. I’ll reply and answer what I can.