All About G

I miss it. So much that sometimes it’s painful. It’s pitiful I know. Whenever I see it, I want to join and play again. If I could marry anything, animate or inanimate, I’d marry the sport of soccer.

Sad, I know. Soccer’s my opium. Well, that’s a bit extreme. But when I’m feeling down and when I’m at my lowest point, the only thing that’ll get me back on my feet is soccer.

And I miss it. More so than I can express in words. The last legitimate season I ever played on was my senior year in high school on the varsity team (I don’t count the U19 club season. I wasn’t exactly what you’d called wanted on the team). Co-captain, honorable MAC All-star mentions, and the best season I’ve ever played. SGS had never gone to Sectional Finals before, and it was an honor to have played in the game. At the same time, that moment, those last few seconds in the game, were probably the most heart-breaking. And I knew, after they scored the second goal, that it was all over.

I wasn’t the same for a while after that. Call me a fanatic, but I was insanely depressed after ending my career. But I didn’t want to give it up.

When I came to IC, one of the first things I did was get checked out for competitive play. And then, I tried out for the varsity soccer team. There I made probably one of the biggest, stupidest mistakes I’ve ever made in my entire life. And I still berate myself for it. Maybe instead of playing my favorite position as forward, I should’ve tried out for my best position, defense. What’s horrible is that, every time I’ve played since then, I’ve always played back! And I’m really good at playing back! Why the hell did I only notice this recently?!

I still play, but only on intramural teams. And it’s fun, but it’s not that same. And that desire to play is what’s led me to email Coach Quigg. And it’s leading me to go talk to her about trying out again next year. And it’s leading me to go outside more and move around more in preparation for working out over the summer.

It’s now or never. And at this point, there’s not turning back. I’ll get on that team. Or at the very least, I will try my damnedest.

Comments (0) Apr 07 2010

It’s been ridiculously hard transitioning from Spring Break mode to School mode. It’s doubly weird because Spring Break wasn’t much of a vacation more than it was a week of more or less doing nothing.

So I discovered just how much of a life I really don’t have. Other than the trip to Oneonta to get the tattoo the Saturday after I returned, and the hair cut I got the Thursday before I had to come back to school, I spent all day, every day, pretty much either wandering aimlessly around the house whining about how there wasn’t anything to do, watching movies on my computer, or sitting on the couch and staring off into space. Oh, right! There were like, three afternoons in which Kimmie, Natalie, and I went to the park to have fun at the playground. And at least the weather outside was gorgeous. But still. I had no where to go, and pretty much no one to hang out with outside of my family, and Nat.

The weekend of my return to campus, Kimmie stayed at her boyfriend’s house Friday and Saturday night. She went straight to his house from school. So Friday, I spent the afternoon and evening at Nat’s house, playing Soul Caliber IV until midnight. And I spent all day Saturday watching Jackie Chan movies. It’s such a fail. And I hadn’t thought about it until I got done watching the fourth Jackie Chan movie, but I realized “holy crap, I have no life.”

Have I really stooped to that kind of level? I rag on Ricky all the time because he lives on World of Warcraft like it’s what keeps him alive every day (and seriously, his online gaming addiction is a problem. I might stage an intervention). And as I rag on him, I’m lounging around my house doing nothing? It just SCREAMS hypocrisy, and I hate it. I hate not having anything to do. And I hate not having anywhere to go. I hate how everyone I used to talk to is gone. And even the people I don’t talk to, just the people I see, they’re leaving too. It’s like Sidney’s becoming a ghost town. And it really sucks. I’m going to die of boredom, that’s for sure.

I’m hoping to get a job working at the pool over the summer. Maybe being out like that daily might help? I have no idea.

G'd Third Tat

Well anyway, besides not having anything to do, I did get my third tattoo. And I did get a haircut, but I don’t have a picture yet so you’ll never know what it looks like muhahahaha! The tat hurt more than the other two, and of course that’s not a surprise, considering this one was over my cervical spine.

Why did I get this one? Well, as you can see, it’s a scorpion. And, if you haven’t already figured out by now, I’m a Scorpio, through and through (I find that hilarious, because I was born on the very last day of Scorpio and everything too). Anyways, I hadn’t thought about getting my star sign on my own.

What happened was, originally, I was going to get this tattoo with Kasedy, who was going to get a tattoo representing her star sign, Taurus, once she turned 18. It was going to be a matching tat thing; something that best friends do. Natalie and Kimmie were going to get their star signs in the upper shoulder region as well, so we could all match.

That was the original plan. That was also determined before this happened. I decided, however, that just because I wasn’t getting it with Kasedy didn’t mean I didn’t have to get it at all. Besides that, Kimmie and Natalie were still getting theirs as well (at least, that I know of). So this tattoo is a tad more symbolic to me than just “I’m a Scorpio,” and “my sister and friend are getting matching star sign tats.” It’s also a statement. It says “Hey, Kasedy. Fuck you. I don’t need you anymore, and here’s how I’m proving it. See this here? The thing that we were going to get together? Well I got it alone. You’re not needed in my life anymore.”

Anyways, so I messed up a bit in terms of moving money about, I’m glad I got this tattoo in the end. It’s very pretty, and everyone that’s seen it likes it, so it’s good Plus I know I’ll never regret getting this tat. If I did, I’d regret being a Scorpio, and we all know THAT’S never going to happen.

So that’s the summary of my spring break. Hopefully, next year’s will be a bit better. And that’s hoping that Sidney doesn’t become a ghost town by then.

EDIT: Well, I’m quite the stupid one. And senile… Anyway, turns out, I *did* have a good pic in my computer of me with me haircut, as you now see. I had completely failed to remember that I kept the pic I sent a couple of my friends on my phone. I sent it to my email, and well, here we are now. Hope you like it!

Comments (0) Mar 23 2010

So, today is our first day back from Spring Break. At this point in time, it feels like Spring Break never existed. But anyways, I’ll update later about Spring break. I want to get this written before I lose my train of thought.

Our assignment for Spanish that I didn’t have any idea about was to read an article in our reader. It’s actually an opinion article about the events of 9/11. I didn’t actually read it, but I had a strange kind of epiphany.

A classmate of mine, Stephanie, had summarized the article for those of us who forgot, and informed us that the writer thought that tightened security wasn’t going to stop any attacks from occurring.

I don’t know exactly how that got my particular train of thought going, and maybe I don’t know what I’m talking about — I’m no psychologist, nor am I some secret agent behavioral analyst — but I suddenly got to wondering… do terrorists even consider the long-term effects of their actions when they plan and carry out their actions?

Let’s use 9/11 for example (since it was what I was thinking about in the first place). So, the terrorists hijacked 4 jets, two of which hit the World Trade Centers. One smashes into the Pentagon, and the last one crashes in a field in PA. So, the immediate effect was the biggest loss of life in a single terrorist attack. People across the nation (and even perhaps the world) were fearful and doubtful of the government’s ability to protect them from harm.

As a result of 9/11, President Bush declared the War on Terror. Now, let’s go back over exactly how Bush went about fighting that war. He did some stuff in Afghanistan, but then changed his route completely and attacked Iraq instead. Now, over the years we’ve been overseas, and I don’t know if it was just me, but it seemed like Bush was so bent on invading Iraq that he seemed to not pay much of any attention to what was going on at the home front. Anyways, towards the end of his final term, the economy went down the shitter, and let me tell you, the war didn’t help it one bit.

Now the globe is amidst an economic crisis and everyone’s struggling. I wonder, did the terrorists ever see something like this happening? Like, the economic meltdown, and the fact that a crap ton of Americans are all fighting with each other (don’t believe me? Go to Youtube and just read the comments on a political video. ‘Nuff said)? And how there are people out there that are totally anti-government right now (I’m referring to the psychotic Tea Party movement)? It’s like, the 19 hijackers did WAY more damage than they expected. Or do they ever think that far ahead? All I know is, currently, there’s a lot of effed up stuff going on right now, and I sort of feel like it all started when the WTC’s went down.

Ah, right, it’s time for a brief topic change. I said this on Facebook already. I’m glad that the health care reform legislation got through the House and is about to be made official. However, I feel like too much time has been spent on this major battle (and maybe if the stupid Republicans weren’t being 10 year olds about it, the reform would’ve been done months ago and that would’ve allowed Obama to TAKE CARE OF THE PEOPLE!!!) and that for now, health care needs to be set aside. The people want economic recovery; new jobs, lowered unemployment rates (well that was redundant)… deflation would be nice too. President Obama, I hope the next thing on your agenda is “kick the economy’s ass back into gear.” We really need it.

Oh, one MORE thing. To the Tea Party-tards that are acting like raving lunatics because they’re being brainwashed by the right-wing, anti-Obama, propaganda media-bitch bullshit… will you SHUT THE FUCK UP!?!?! LOOK AT YOURSELVES!!! You are coming across as the LOWEST OF THE LOW of the U.S. for fuck’s sake!!! How dare you accuse Obama of being a Nazi, and how dare you insult the Representatives so horrifically (I’m referring to your racial and homophobic slurs, you bastards!)! They’re not doing this to destroy our lives! Are you so blinded by the Fox news bullshit to not see how much we, as a nation, needed this!?! I ought to find each and every one of you, and beat you to a pulp! You’re pissed because Obama’s “not doing anything”? Well maybe if you all STFU and GOT THE FUCK OUT OF HIS WAY, OBAMA WOULD BE ABLE TO DO THE STUFF HE PROMISED TO DO, YOU FUCKING HALF-WITTED RETARDS! OH MY FUCKING GOD!!! SOMETIMES I WONDER HOW WE, as a country, GOT THIS FAR!!!!!

*ahem* Anyways. That took me all day to write. I’m gonna go do other things now. I’ll tell you how my break (or lack therof) went another time, most likely tomorrow.

By the way, if, by some chance, you’ll never hear from me again, then the feds read this blog post and figured I knew too much or something, and took me away to do whatever feds do to people that they take away >.>

Comments (1) Mar 22 2010

No pun intended >.>

Anyway, it’s about 7 days, give a few hours, since I sustained my concussion. My follow-up for my concussion says I still have a concussion. Dr. Getzin recommend mental and physical rest, of course, and advised me to push back my midterms thank God; I was worried about that. I had taken my Bioethics midterm last Thursday and I couldn’t finish it . He said “no exercise”, which I knew and had already been doing with frustration (I hate not playing soccer). I still get headaches, and they worsen when I have to really concentrate on something. The sunlight hurts too, and not just my head but my eyes. Sleeping does help and I should do more of that, but since I’m going home in a couple of days, and since I don’t have a life outside of the house and Nat’s place, I think sleep won’t be an issue.

… Crap. I shouldn’t have stopped typing this to pull up a song… now I can’t remember what I was gonna write. Yea, my short-term memory has improved, but it’s not back to the way it was. Um… yea. Since I don’t remember what else I was going to say, I guess I’m done with this blog post =/

Comments (0) Mar 09 2010

(insert stupid fucking audio that’s being a bitch and won’t let me fucking upload it properly here)

Yea. I went there.

I love you Kimmie~

Comments (0) Feb 03 2010