Our assignment for Spanish that I didn’t have any idea about was to read an article in our reader. It’s actually an opinion article about the events of 9/11. I didn’t actually read it, but I had a strange kind of epiphany.

A classmate of mine, Stephanie, had summarized the article for those of us who forgot, and informed us that the writer thought that tightened security wasn’t going to stop any attacks from occurring.

I don’t know exactly how that got my particular train of thought going, and maybe I don’t know what I’m talking about — I’m no psychologist, nor am I some secret agent behavioral analyst — but I suddenly got to wondering… do terrorists even consider the long-term effects of their actions when they plan and carry out their actions?

Let’s use 9/11 for example (since it was what I was thinking about in the first place). So, the terrorists hijacked 4 jets, two of which hit the World Trade Centers. One smashes into the Pentagon, and the last one crashes in a field in PA. So, the immediate effect was the biggest loss of life in a single terrorist attack. People across the nation (and even perhaps the world) were fearful and doubtful of the government’s ability to protect them from harm.

As a result of 9/11, President Bush declared the War on Terror. Now, let’s go back over exactly how Bush went about fighting that war. He did some stuff in Afghanistan, but then changed his route completely and attacked Iraq instead. Now, over the years we’ve been overseas, and I don’t know if it was just me, but it seemed like Bush was so bent on invading Iraq that he seemed to not pay much of any attention to what was going on at the home front. Anyways, towards the end of his final term, the economy went down the shitter, and let me tell you, the war didn’t help it one bit.

Now the globe is amidst an economic crisis and everyone’s struggling. I wonder, did the terrorists ever see something like this happening? Like, the economic meltdown, and the fact that a crap ton of Americans are all fighting with each other (don’t believe me? Go to Youtube and just read the comments on a political video. ‘Nuff said)? And how there are people out there that are totally anti-government right now (I’m referring to the psychotic Tea Party movement)? It’s like, the 19 hijackers did WAY more damage than they expected. Or do they ever think that far ahead? All I know is, currently, there’s a lot of effed up stuff going on right now, and I sort of feel like it all started when the WTC’s went down.

Ah, right, it’s time for a brief topic change. I said this on Facebook already. I’m glad that the health care reform legislation got through the House and is about to be made official. However, I feel like too much time has been spent on this major battle (and maybe if the stupid Republicans weren’t being 10 year olds about it, the reform would’ve been done months ago and that would’ve allowed Obama to TAKE CARE OF THE PEOPLE!!!) and that for now, health care needs to be set aside. The people want economic recovery; new jobs, lowered unemployment rates (well that was redundant)… deflation would be nice too. President Obama, I hope the next thing on your agenda is “kick the economy’s ass back into gear.” We really need it.

Oh, one MORE thing. To the Tea Party-tards that are acting like raving lunatics because they’re being brainwashed by the right-wing, anti-Obama, propaganda media-bitch bullshit… will you SHUT THE FUCK UP!?!?! LOOK AT YOURSELVES!!! You are coming across as the LOWEST OF THE LOW of the U.S. for fuck’s sake!!! How dare you accuse Obama of being a Nazi, and how dare you insult the Representatives so horrifically (I’m referring to your racial and homophobic slurs, you bastards!)! They’re not doing this to destroy our lives! Are you so blinded by the Fox news bullshit to not see how much we, as a nation, needed this!?! I ought to find each and every one of you, and beat you to a pulp! You’re pissed because Obama’s “not doing anything”? Well maybe if you all STFU and GOT THE FUCK OUT OF HIS WAY, OBAMA WOULD BE ABLE TO DO THE STUFF HE PROMISED TO DO, YOU FUCKING HALF-WITTED RETARDS! OH MY FUCKING GOD!!! SOMETIMES I WONDER HOW WE, as a country, GOT THIS FAR!!!!!

*ahem* Anyways. That took me all day to write. I’m gonna go do other things now. I’ll tell you how my break (or lack therof) went another time, most likely tomorrow.

By the way, if, by some chance, you’ll never hear from me again, then the feds read this blog post and figured I knew too much or something, and took me away to do whatever feds do to people that they take away >.>

Actually, this goes for anyone else complaining about her singing “being too loud” when you ALL scream and yell through the house when SHE’S trying to work. Fuck you, go kill yourself, fuck off, and stfu. If you don’t like Mom’s belting, leave the god damn house, and fucking move out. SOME people actually NEED to move out too, so there. Bring it up to her again and you’ll be answering to my FIST. Well, more like my verbal bitch-slapping powers. Either way, you’ll feel broken on the inside when I’m through.

(Yes, I have decided that I will most certainly be going to Hell, and I do hope that I will see the whole lot of you there as well :3) In any event, let’s kick it off, shall we?

Health care reform: Okay, before I begin, I just wanted to say that I think you conservative bastards are the most narrow-minded, ignorant and stupid people I have ever met. Obama’s a Nazi/communist/Muslim terrorist/money-loving bastard? Whose ass have you been sticking your heads up, besides your own (and Bush’s)? Obama is NOT a Nazi nor a Communist. He is most CERTAINLY not a terrorist. You all assume he’s an illegal citizen because of his NAME, because his FATHER, who happens to be from KENYA, gave our President his name, who, by the way, was still BORN IN THE USA, BITCHES!

The one thing that pisses me off to no end is how you are comparing him to the likes of Hitler. What. Is. Wrong. With. You? Seriously? In what way is our President similar at all to a man who instigated a mass genocide and dreamed of eliminating all but the Aryan race? I don’t see how Obama’s economic stimulus plan has anything to do with gas chambers, and if any one of you have a half a brain, you can explain to me with your sick and delusional logic where that connection is.

What the problem is with your protests and screaming about his “socialist reforming” is that you don’t have your facts straight. Oh yea, and you’re listening to people like Sarah Palin, who 1) didn’t know Africa wasn’t a country, and 2) says her foreign policy credentials includes being able to see Russia from her front porch. Seriously, you’re taking her word for ANYTHING? She is full of SHIT. She’s the biggest idiot I have ever seen in my life. Death panels? Euthanasia of the elderly? HOLY CRAP PEOPLE. Okay look, the only thing that even has a HINT of POSSIBLY RESEMBLING a “death panel” is OPTIONAL counseling for elderly people about end-of-life care, you know? Hospices, writing wills, nursing homes, places where you can live your last days comfortably.

And, I’ll be perfectly honest with you. When I’m in my 80’s or 90’s and have some sort of terminal disease like cancer, to which I have no cure for, the first thing I am going to do is take a 12-gauge and blow my brains out. Why prolong my suffering? Call me a sinner, the Devil, whatever. I’m just saying. I understand that whole “OMG DEATH PANELS” that some retard crocked up, but think of it this way. If YOU were old, decrepit, and couldn’t do anything except get IV-fed apple sauce and crap in a bed pan, not to mention potentially suffering from a lot of agonizing pain from a crippling disease, wouldn’t you want to start accepting that fact that there’s no real point in trying to live any longer? I wouldn’t want to keep living if I wasn’t really living in the first place.

So for all you retards out there who think that Obama’s going to start up death panels (you fucking retards, I hope you all die), or have the government take over health care completely, then check out this fact check and THEN try and convince me about how Obama’s “planning to destroy our nation,” you fucks.

Another thing you’re screaming about, and that’s related to the supposed taking-over of our health care, is that public OPTION, that Obama has repeatedly said is OPTIONAL, that you can CHOOSE not to have, if you would rather keep whatever plan you happen to have. That’s why it’s called an OPTION; it means that you don’t HAVE to have it. You can simply choose to get or not to get it. You idiots. No wonder Bush was voted in twice; this country is packed full of retards.

I’m totally in support of this public option as well. Like Obama said, it would create more competition with the private health insurance companies; premium prices would drop, because you know. The cheaper the more likely you will buy it. That’s why I go clothes shopping at Rue 21 instead of Abercrombie and Fitch. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to afford a pair of $90 jeans. $20 jeans are just fine with me. Not to mention the fact that with competition comes improvement. Companies will constantly come up with one or another plan that will one-up everyone else — likewise, everyone else is doing the same thing. And isn’t that kind of competition good for the economy, damnit? Think with your brains, people, your brains!

This bullshit you’ve been hearing from our Republican friends is just their efforts in trying to make Obama look bad because the Republicans have FAILED miserably in getting shit done themselves, because they don’t even give a shit in the first place! They just want to continue sharing profits with those greedy health insurance companies which don’t care about you either; they only want your money! So they’re starting shit and spreading rumors to try and ruin Obama’s rep in the hopes that they will boost the GOP party’s rep. And since you all fail at life, it’s starting to work.

Quick note before I move on: what the hell is up with you and gun rights? And what the hell makes you think Obama is going to take away your gun rights? It’s in the Constitution; he can’t take away your gun rights. Did you get my message straight enough? Or do I have to dumb it down further? The most that he’ll probably do is tighten some regulations on gun control. That is NOT the same as taking away the right to own a gun, you thick-headed neanderthals. Think of Columbine; the V-tech shootings. Do you think that maybe, with some better gun control, that wouldn’t have happened? That’s why, I believe, Obama wants to polish up those rules. He’s not aiming to take away the Second Amendment. He wants to make sure that the Second Amendment doesn’t fuck us all over.

Moving right along…

Abortion: Straight off the bat — I’m pro-choice.

First off, I’ve seen men talking about how it’s morally wrong, blah blah blah. Okay, what the fuck. Why the hell should MEN have any kind of say in a WOMAN’S body? Last I remember, us females were the ones who bear the child, so I would assume that we should be the ones who decides what to do with our bodies, NOT the men that conceive the babies. The only thing that men are good for is shooting their load up our crotch, and buying us random things when we crave them. That’s about ALL they do during our pregnancy. Now, I’ve never been pregnant before, but I can assume that it’s probably not the most amazing experience to ever have. What with the back pain and the swollen legs and feet, and especially when you actually go into labor. I bet a man would kill himself if that kind of pain was ever bestowed upon him. The lot of you “manly men” are just a bunch of wimps.

Second off, I’ve seen people talk about how it’s morally wrong, blah blah blah. Well, you all euthanize animals whenever you can’t fix them up, so you’re all murderers anyway. I bet you didn’t stop to think about THAT, NOW DID YA!? I’m referring to the cat that had cancer, that you immediately put down to put out of its misery, whereas you fight tooth and nail to keep your grandmother — who has end-stage cancer and might as well be dead — alive . So fuck you for calling me a baby-killer; you aren’t much better for killing your pets, you fucks!

I feel like what this whole abortion ordeal comes down to is the separation of Church and state. The majority of people against abortion are, what I assume, religious. Well, sorry, I’m not all that religious. I am however, what you would call practical and reasonable.

Now, I believe that women, not men, should have all power in deciding whether or not to have an abortion. They should talk it out with the baby’s father and all, but in the end, the woman, the CHILD-BEARER, should decide whether or not she should have that baby. And you may say “oh, but it’s wrong to have a baby aborted! you HAVE to have the child and keep it!” But riddle me this. Why have a baby that you don’t want?

Picture this; you have unprotected sex with a guy, find out that you are now expecting child. You don’t want the kid. You never wanted a kid. So how do you think you are going to treat something you never wanted in the first place? Better yet, think of it this way. You are a kid born to a mother who never wanted you. You were a mistake. How do you think that child will feel? That’s got to be emotionally traumatizing, not to mention the fact that I bet some, if not a whole shit ton, of unwanted kids are abused by their parents in one way or another, specifically because they were unwanted. Would you want to subject a child to that, or would you rather make it so that they will never go through something like that in the first place? A very close friend of mine was an unwanted baby, and her mother put her through hell. If I were unexpectedly pregnant, and I didn’t want the baby, I’d much rather abort it than have it, because I wouldn’t want to put a kid through that.

I bet you never thought of it that way either, you ignorant bible-thumpers.

I think you should keep abortion legal, so that we can have a choice. It’s our bodies, our life, our decision. A bunch of majority male politicians shouldn’t have a say at all in the matter.

Global warming/alternative energy: Okay, this one is just too easy.

To those of you that are saying “Drill baby, drill,” are you idiots? No, botch that, I don’t even need to ask. You’re just greedy and stupid. Look, in case you were too retarded to realize, this world is running out of oil. No amount of drilling any where is going to change the fact that within the next century, we will be out of oil. Yes, oil comes back eventually, over millions and millions of years. So, tell me. What’s the point in continuing to drill for something that we will most indefinitely run out of, when we so very readily have sun light, wind, and water? Can you say RENEWABLE ENERGY? Hello!!!! I can’t believe you all can’t see the obvious opportunity here. Wind and water are pretty much infinite. I mean, come on. The polar ice caps are melting; might as well capitalize on the fact that we’re getting more water. And let’s not forget the fact that the sun isn’t going to be exploding any time soon, so unless it does, we’ll have sunlight for a long time as well. So advantage #1, renewable energy that will last forever compared to oil? Check.

Wind and solar power especially are clean and green and good for our ecosystem. While hydro electricity is a little more intrusive, it isn’t as damaging to the planet as oil is.

(And to all you retards that are saying that Al Gore is a conspiracy theorist and that global warming doesn’t exist, you need to shoot yourself for me, please. Global warming or not, we are definitely hurting this planet with our pollution. And we need to pull our heads out of our asses and DO something about it)

So, why not trade out the smoking oil drills and bring in clean, green energy? Shut the fuck up about those wind energy mills being an eyesore; I’ll break your face! They look a HELL of a lot more serene than oil drills. Anyway, it’s the oil companies and their lobbyists that are doing everything in their power to prevent losing business. Well I’ve got news for you, Halliburton. You’ll be running out of business anyway when you run out of oil to sell, retards. Why don’t you switch your business over to clean energy and monopolize as much as you can get away with?

Advantage #2, being better for the environment by minimizing pollution, and advantage #3, satisfying the greedy money-loving bastards that need to die? Check. I think we have ourselves a winner: let’s go green, ‘kay? Wind, water, solar, and hell, let’s throw geothermal into the mix. They really are unlimited, renewable sources of energy that kick the shit out of oil. And you slow assholes need to catch up with the program.

War in Iraq: Against it.

Yes, it WAS a lie. We really had no business going over there, considering Al Qaida is mainly based in Afghanistan. And to you idiots who are bitching about how Obama “lied about withdrawing our troops”, HE SAID 18 MONTHS, NOT TWO SECONDS, YOU FUCKS. He said that he’d withdraw safely from the country, over what is so far an 18-month time table. What the hell makes you think that we should be all pulled out of Iraq 7 months into his term? Before we can withdraw, we need to ensure that the country is stable enough to take care of itself. We fucked up the country when we went to war with it; the very least we can do is patch up as much as we can from that fuck faced redneck of a former US President.

So my verdict on the war? Never should have started it, glad we’re trying to end it. I’m willing to wait, just so long as Obama pulls the troops out like he’s said. If it takes longer than 18 months, fine, but I at least want to see proof that we’re pulling out. Otherwise, I’ll throw bitch fits too. My best friend (and quite a few other friends) has been in Iraq since the beginning of this year. You all know Steve (I’d be horrifically shocked if you didn’t, considering the high school drama I talked about a lot on this blog). Yea, him. He’s in Iraq (well, not now… he’s on a brief vacation). But my point is he, my best friend, is in a fucking war zone. I am being honest when I stay I will flip out if Obama changes his mind for some stupid reason about troop withdrawal from that country, UNLESS it is absolutely necessary.

Economy and the stimulus plan: Well, I said a lot about what I thought of the economy in this post , so I’ll sum it up as best as I can.

I’ll have to admit that Bush did an amazing job fucking up the economy. All that economic “growth” he was talking about his two terms? Yea, well that was just the rest of the nation nose-diving into debt because we’re a stupid lot that doesn’t know how to restrain ourselves with credit cards. At this point we’re not paying with money for things anymore; we’re paying with debt. The growth was just us borrowing; for god’s sakes, just read this quote from my other post!

“The higher ups want us to keep borrowing and borrowing, and seriously, that’s the most stupidest thing I’ve ever heard of. Borrowing? Why not use real money that we actually have. Because of everyone’s hyperactive borrowing, the economy for the longest time looked like it was going stellar (though in reality, out wallets were showing otherwise). And then the borrowing and debt caught up with us all, and look at were we are now. You want to eliminate this whole damn problem? Eliminate credit. Let’s make it so that we pay with our OWN money, that we KNOW we have, instead of paying with essentially nothing.”

There. That’s pretty much that for there. As for everyone bitching about Obama “deepening our deficit”, um hello? His budget was submerged in debt because of the debt Bush brought upon us in the first place! God, Obama is doing what he can to repair our infrastructure. He inherited the biggest mess in what is most likely US history, minus the Great Depression. And I mean that when I say pretty much the biggest mess in history. He’s working on this in pieces, so it’ll take a while. Bear with him, you ungrateful bastards. You’ll see results soon enough.

On Obama: Well, the first thing I’m going to say, for sure, is that I am completely and totally positive that Obama is smarter than Bush. He is more intelligent than Bush. And did I mention that he’s not Nazi/Communist/Muslim terrorist? The people who have been spreading that shit need to come to my house so I can beat the shit out of them. Seriously. Email me and I will give you my address and best times to reach me, so I can kick your ass. I may or may not be wrong about this, but I have the feeling that the majority of this negativity against President Obama is RACISM. Call me racially paranoid, but when I see a white woman on the news saying “I want my America back,” what the fuck am I supposed to think she means? No, I think a lot of this is fueled by white supremacy. And to be frank, it really, REALLY, pisses me off. No, I’m not saying every white guy is a white supremacist. This is directed to the actual white supremacist. 95% of my friends are white, and they are AWESOME. Because THEY’RE not racist. Refer back to my blog post on racial identification.

I don’t know how many times I’ve said this before. So what if a person is black, white, Asian, Indian, WHATEVER?! Race doesn’t matter. It shouldn’t matter! The color of you skin should not define who you are. My mother is black, and she is not some stereotypical hoodlum who talks like she’s from the ghetto (and has the brains to match). My mother attended two Ivy Leagues, and has her own business in which she has connections to people in DC (Shout out to Congressman Israel: you are the MAN!). And did I mention she’s black? She told me stories of how people who used to pick on her about “trying to be like a white person”. FUCK YOU IDIOTS! SHE’S NOT TRYING TO BE “LIKE” ANYTHING! She’s being HERSELF.

Obama is black, yes, but he doesn’t appear to have any kind of racist thoughts. No, White America, he is not going to mobilize a black America and murder you all. He is going to lead this country and fix the mess that Bush made. He is a smart and sensible man. Yea, so what if he was once a community organizer? That only means he’s been down on the very bottom level, so he really does know what we all need. He knows, and that right there is what we need. How else is the President going to fix our problems, if he doesn’t himself know what they are? Fuck your dissing his being a community organizer. That’s the best kind of credential to have when you’re basically organizer for the community that is the entire fucking nation. President Obama is doing a damn good job so far. Anyone got a problem with that, they can have a nice and up close conversation with my fist.

Ah, yes, one more thing. If anyone assassinates Obama (a GOOD President for a change), or even tries to, I will personally hunt you down and make you suffer a slow and painful death. Dismemberment and any other kind of random torture I can think of WILL be used.

Moving right along… *clears throat briefly* Go on and keep doing your thing, Obama. I, at the very least, am smart enough to see that what you’ve got planned for us is the best thing that’ll ever happen to us.

You know, after this and this and this, you would think that my parents, especially my dad, would understand what I think about them and their god damned assumptions. Well here’s a little refresher course since you’re obviously too senile to remember what I tell you.

You may have given birth to me and you may have raised me from the first day, but that doesn’t mean you know everything about me. You, mom, may be able to psychoanalyze me half the damned time, and you, Dad, are just a plain old asshole, but what the hell makes you think you can figure out my exact motives? Last I recall, NEITHER of you could read my mind, so how about you stop acting like you can before you start, and I won’t have a reason to even be tempted to punch somebody. (Maybe I’ll just go back to slicing up my arms in fits of rage; it’d be a little less harmful to others.)

(Before I really get in to it; I should inform you that this blog post is more directed to Dad. At least Mom has the brains to shut the fuck up and drop the subject)

For your information, I wasn’t being nosy, like some people are (Like oh, I don’t know, DAD). I heard my baby brother screaming outside, and I went out there to joke, to poke fun, because I thought he was randomly yelling like usual. So I went outside and randomly yelled, because I wanted to have fun. And when I heard him crying instead, the FIRST thing I thought was “I’m gonna have to smack someone around, aren’t I?”

First off, Dad, what gives you the right to tell me not to protect mymy little brother? Unlike you, I’m not a nosy little DICKHEAD who has no life outside of manga, anime, caffeine, motherboards, and sneaking buying/smoking packs of cigarettes behind everyone’s backs thinking that the rest of us don’t actually know he’s doing it (BECAUSE WE’RE TOTALLY AS RETARDED AS YOU, HUH?). Another thing; I wasn’t going outside intending to play the parent. I stayed outside because my brother was crying and something was wrong, and I just so happened to be there and I’m his big sister who can protect him every once in a while. I was actually INTENDING TO BREAK JONATHAN’S NOSE SINCE YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW SO BAD.

YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE. You scream at me for “treating him like crap.” Then you scream at me for being a good big sister and looking out for him. So what the fuck is it that you expect me to do!? How about I pretend he doesn’t exist? Like he was never born, and that he’s not really my brother, but some kid that just lives here? Every time you want me to take him somewhere, I’ll just say “I can’t. He doesn’t matter to me.” Or would you rather I just continue to hate on him and bully him like Jonathan? You immature, STUPID little man. Get it through your thick skull: I may have several common personality traits, BUT I’M NOT YOU. I’m a HELL of a lot more responsible, mature, and intelligent than you’ll ever be. And fuck you. Next time I hear Ricky outside crying, I don’t give two shits whether or not I’m his “father” or his “mother, or even his fucking GRANDMOTHER; I WILL go outside, and I WILL see what’s wrong, and I WILL beat the shit out of his little friends if the situation calls for it, because I’M HIS MOTHERFUCKING SISTER AND I HAVE AN OBLIGATION TO WATCH OUT FOR HIM, YOU FUCKING PRICK!

You are a thickheaded asshole who doesn’t know how to fucking listen and the only thing you’re good at doing is acting like the whole fucking world is AGAINST YOU, which is probably WHAT YOU WERE DOING EARLIER TONIGHT WHEN YOU POINTLESSLY BITCHED AT ME! DO ME A FAVOR AND GO FUCKING KILL YOURSELF OR SOMETHING, AND SAVE ME THE TROUBLE OF DOING IT MYSELF!

I’m not in the wrong for this one. You and your assumptions, however, are. For the last time, stop assuming that I’m that much like you. I have NO intentions of taking your father job away (though I guarantee that if I did, I would do 10x better than you could ever hope to do), but I have every intention of sticking up for my brother even if that means I have to supposedly “butt in” when you do ALL THE TIME, and UNNECESSARILY TOO.

So, yea, I hope you aren’t expecting an apology, because you don’t deserve one. FYI, I’mreally tired of your bullshit. Who knows? At the rate you’re going, I really will hate your guts. Congratulations. I hope that’s what you were trying to accomplish all these years; to be The Biggest Asshole G’s Ever Known in Her Entire Life, because you did a damned good job. For the record, I really do hope with all of my being that I don’t end up parenting my kids the way you have so far and especially recently.

God, I can’t even begin to tell you what I’ve been up to. Literally.

I’m working on a project to upload. I’ve got way too much other shit to do. I need to find a specific form that I know that I’ll never be able to find. I keep frappin’ overdrafting my stupid checking account. $60 of my deposited $80 went out the window, and I’ve got freakin’ bills to pay (I’m not even spending money on things to spoil myself! I’M BUYING FOOD TO FEED MYSELF WHEN I WORK BECAUSE I CAN’T GO HOME AND EAT DINNER.). And I’d very much like to rip my hair out.

What an awesome summer vacation; I’m as much on the fritz as I usually am at school. Wonderful

You said I “threw a compliment back in your face”? How the hell is “why do you wear such skimpy clothing?” a compliment? You implied that I’m trampy! And, for your information, I’m definitely NOT FUCKING TRAMPY YOU ASSHOLE. Oh, and in case you didn’t get it the first time, I DON’T wear “skimpy clothing”. The clothing I wear is perfectly FINE. Since you’re too blind to tell, my Myspace default pic is a picture of me showing off my NEW BATHING SUIT! How is a bikini skimpy?! YOU WEAR IT IN PUBLIC.

The next thing I am going to confront; all of your insults. I’m sorry, I don’t care how pissed off you are at me; I don’t take being called a “fucking whore” all too well. I’m not a whore. I don’t date just anymore, and I most certainly don’t fuck just anyone either. Oh and, I’m not going to die any time soon, I’m not going to hell (but YOU probably will), I’m not worthless nor am I a piece of shit.

Among other things, of the two of us, I think YOU’RE the one who’s wasted MY time. I didn’t realize how much of a PMSing bitch you were, and I didn’t realize that you’d flip out over the TINIEST things/nothing like some pre-pubescent loser. You have no right to tell me never to talk to you again. I’M THE ONE WHO WANTS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU, AND YOU NEVER FUCKING TALK TO ME AGAIN. Until you actually GROW THE FUCK UP AND ACT YOUR AGE, I don’t want to deal with you. You’re not 12 anymore, you’re 20-21. You’re an adult; ACT LIKE ONE.

Bassett has a hell of a lot of nerve saying that they’re a reliable health care service. Ha! All they really care about is making as much money as they can; they don’t care about what the patient wants. They only want the patient to be obedient and do whatever they say.

Anyway, I’ve completely lost all respect for Kelly, the doctor who was supposed to set me up with a referral to the orthopedic in Buffalo. I take back everything I said about her being “willing to help me.”

When I had gone to see her on Wednesday… well a couple of weeks ago, I had asked if she could refer me out to the Dr. Bisson in Buffalo, because I felt that someone who had published research on clavicle osteonomies would definitely know what he was doing, and I wanted to be positively sure that the surgeon who was going to operate on me wasn’t going to kill me for not knowing what he was doing.

A couple of days later, my mom called me to let me know that Kelly had received the medical information from Ithaca Orthopedic Group. The message passed to me was “Kelly wants to refer you to one of the Bassett orthopedics in Oneonta but if you want to be referred out to the orthopedic in Buffalo, she’ll see what she can do.”

So I had given their office a call, letting them know “I would like to be referred to the orthopedic in Buffalo, kthnkbai.” And they seemed perfectly fine with it, though Barbara had said “Kelly would really like for you to see one of the orthopedics in Oneonta first,” but I made it very clear that they weren’t needed. So they said that they’d work on getting the referral for me.

Anyway, on Friday, I was awoken my a call on my cell phone. This time, it was Connie, one of Kelly’s nurses. She told me that Kelly “couldn’t refer me out to Buffalo because it was out of her network, buuuuuut she could still refer me to one of the orthopedics at the Bassett center in Oneonta.”

At the time, I told her I’d “get back to her later.”

Earlier today, mom called up GHI inquiring about the network. And, as I thought before, it’s statewide. Nothing is stopping Kelly from making that referral, because Dr. Bisson IS in the GHI network. So, after I found out this info, I called the office once again. Barbara was the one who answered the phone, and the conversation went as thus:

“Hi, I’m Regina Baker. I was called a couple of days ago about the referral to Buffalo.”

“Okay, hold on one moment.”

*on hold*

“Hello Regina? Connie’s not available right now.”

“That’s okay. Anyway, I was told by Connie that Kelly couldn’t make the referral because it was out of her network. But I made a call to GHI today and I was told that I can be referred to anyone in the state who takes GHI. So… can Kelly refer me out to the doctor in Buffalo, please?”

“Kelly left a message saying that she wasn’t comfortable with that referral.”

“… Is that so.”

“She’s had a lot of success with referrals to the orthopedics in Bassett’s Oneonta Center.”

“Yea, but those doctors can’t help me. The reason why I wanted to be referred to the doctor in Buffalo is because he can help me.”

“Kelly isn’t willing to make a referral out to that doctor.”

“Really. And, if you don’t mind me asking, why is that?”

“I don’t know, ma’am. But if you’d like, I can leave a message for her to see if she’ll make the referral anyway.”

“Yes, you go do that. Thank you.”

“Bye.”

*hangs up without responding*

That stupid bitch Kelly isn’t willing to make that SIMPLE referral, because Dr. Bisson isn’t in the Bassett network, therefore Bassett won’t be making any money. So she’d rather send me to a useless orthopedic just so the company can leech more insurance money from me. She’d rather make more money than help me fix my problem. And all she needs to do is fill out ONE STINKING REFERRAL, and send it to Dr. Bisson! And schedule me an appointment! And how do I know that’s the reason? Not just because of other experiences our family has had with stupid Bassett doctors, but because the specific quote “Kelly isn’t willing to refer you out to Buffalo.” and how they kept pushing to get me to go to the stupid Oneonta center to see their doctors who won’t be able to do SHIT!

Fuck you! I’m not going to let you pull me away from where I know I’m going to go. I don’t give two craps if you’d rather I see your orthopedics. I’M NOT GONNA GO SEE ‘EM! I know Dr. Bisson is gonna be the best doctor who can help me, and so I’m gonna go see him, and if you aren’t going to give me that simple referral, then I’m gonna find someone who will!

And already, I’ve found a local doctor who owns a private practice, and is an independent. Therefore, he won’t get on my god damn case about seeing a “specific doctor” and that bullshit. I’m sure he’ll give me the referral I need, for sure. Hell, I probably can get the referral from Dr. Krauss when I got see Laurie at the Ortho Group here in Ithaca.

As for Bassett? Well, they can all go kill themselves. I’m NEVER gonna see ANY Bassett doctors for as long as I live.

Peter, I don’t care if you think my opinions are warped and insane. I don’t really care if you’re right and I’m wrong. What I do care about is when you call me stupid. Regardless of what my tweets earlier did to have an affect upon your opinion of my smarts, I’ll tell you right now, I’m far from stupid. And I particularly don’t appreciate you calling me that.

Twitter is awesome for talking about simple things, but you can’t have a real discussion on it, especially when you have a lot to say. 140 characters just doesn’t do it. So I’ll write down here what I was trying to say there. Read it, don’t read it. Change your mind about my opinion, or don’t, whatever. But, honestly, even though I don’t even know who you are, it hurt when you called me stupid.

This is what I think; this world is fucked over. Our nation is fucked. It has been for years. This recession isn’t the start of it, nor is it the ending. And we have, more or less, been digging this grave for ourselves for a great deal of time. It’s because the people that lead us are a pack of retards and the majority of people in this country are retarded. The way big corporations were, and still are, being retarded with their money, and the way the government kept turning what seemed like a permanent blind eye, the economy was doomed to fuck up. I look at it, and this all reminds me of the Gilded Age back in the early 1900’s, when corporations had the government more or less wrapped around their fingers. Nowadays, the gov’t cares about the big businesses, they don’t want to do anything that would hinder the big businesses, and they ignore us, let alone the small businesses and micro businesses. And even though it was clear that the corporations, and Wall st., needed regulation, the gov’t kept saying “lasseiz faire, lasseiz faire,” like they thought what they did a century ago would actually work this time around.

Of course, we all know how it ended at the end of the Roaring Twenties, with a depression that so far has yet to be beat. Until maybe now.

Now everyone’s saying “Oh, we need to regulate this and regulate that, and we’ll make sure that this never happens again.” It’s more than that, though. The higher ups need to acknowledge small businesses and how they play a major role in the economy. That’s what I was trying to say before when I said that they’re thinking is old-fashioned. Times are changing, things are changing, and in order to keep up with this change, we need to adapt our thoughts, and up until now (unless Obama indeed turns out to be full of shit like you say he is) no one has done that.

Concerning the New World Order… Our country, and pretty much every other country in the world, relies on everyone else to get by. A lot of our economy relies on the economies of the countries we do business with, essentially. Interdependence and all that; how countries depend on other countries. We’re more or less globalized to a tee. So, if the economies of other countries starts going down the shitter, and if the global economy in general is going down the shitter, then logically our economy will go down the shitter too. And unless we cut off all ties from the rest of the world and go back to our Pre-World War I, pre-internationalistic ways, I highly doubt that we’ll be able to make a comeback here on the homefront without doing something to repair the global economy.

The G20 conference may have seemed like a meet and greet and/or a waste of time, but for a long time, the United States has been more or less the world leader. And, well, looking back at what Bush put us through, and how things started fucking up, and especially considering how interdependent we are presently, I sort of feel like a balancing of powers was inevitable. China, Britain, etc, are becoming superpowers… actually it’s more like they’re superpowers already. And they more or less had to deal with whatever we did when we wanted to do it. The Iraq War (the biggest waste of time ever) was just one example of it. With the way Obama approached this conference, and promoted this NWO, everyone’s on the same level, and yea, they’re all trying to fix the “failed capitalism” and whatnot, but in a more broad sense, it’s better to have the countries collaborating than having one country boss the others around. That would eventually blow up in our face, I’m sure. That’s what I was trying to say when I meant that the NWO might not be such a bad thing.

And yes, I agree that our system of capitalism is retarded. But, it’s not capitalism as a whole that’s failed. We can still keep using it if we just cut out the pieces that are tripping us constantly.

I personally think that the real problem is credit. You give your debt to someone else in exchange for some more debt from some other person. It’s almost like we’re not even using money to buy things anymore; we’re using debt. The higher ups want us to keep borrowing and borrowing, and seriously, that’s the most stupidest thing I’ve ever heard of. Borrowing? Why not use real money that we actually have. Because of everyone’s hyperactive borrowing, the economy for the longest time looked like it was going stellar (though in reality, out wallets were showing otherwise). And then the borrowing and debt caught up with us all, and look at were we are now. You want to eliminate this whole damn problem? Eliminate credit. Let’s make it so that we pay with our OWN money, that we KNOW we have, instead of paying with essentially nothing. (This was another thing I was talking about with the old-fashioned thinking; that the gov’t wants us to use credit, even though it blew up in our faces in the late 1920’s, and it’s obviously doing it again now).

That may have looked like rambling, and since I suck at transitions, it might as well be rambling, but this is the gist of what I wanted to say on Twitter. See what I meant when I said it’s hard to have a really good discussion? Sometimes, I have a lot to say — this happened to be one of those times.

You can still think my opinions are completely irrelevant to reality. And you can still be right about all of this. You may or may not read this post, and you may or may not comment and whatnot. But I wanted to just make something clear; I’m not a stupid person. Please don’t call me stupid. I don’t really appreciate being humiliated for trying to voice my opinion.

So first off, to reassure anyone who was worried about it, my knee’s fine. The doctor I saw told me that it was just a minor strain and so long as I iced i and used my brace, I’d be fine. And my knee’s doing good now too. Which is awesome, seeing as how I have a soccer game tonight.

Of course, G wouldn’t be G without fucking something else up to make up for the healed injury; I went ahead and re-fractured my tailbone Thursday night after I tripped over a guy that I had knocked over 5 seconds before (he’s cute too, lol). Wonderful stuff let me tell you.

Moving on… the doctor I saw on Wednesday I also saw to see if I can get started on correcting my clavicle. I know that you readers have probably read about this whole fiasco, and I’ll let you know, I’ve made some more progress. The doctor was perfectly willing to help me out, and I had to sign three different release forms so the doctor can get all the medical information that’s been accumulated over the years. Once she reviews that info, she’d be able to refer me, and not just to any doctor, but the doctor I was wanted to go to! This makes me a lot happier than I was when I started out on this nightmare of an adventure.

Infant’s still an infant… I don’t know how many of you actually know who I’m talking about, but to summarize, he’s very retarded and immature, hence why I call him Infant. I sorta feel like I need to slap him around to get it through his thick skull that there is no way in all hell I would EVER go out with him. Even if he was the last man on earth, I wouldn’t even contemplate it. I’d probably kill myself instead.

In other news, the sun burned me, again. So now I’m gonna actually be careful in the early track season when I’m out in the sun for 8 hours non stop (I was working at the meet as opposed to actually competing). Other than that, I’ve been putting the lotion on the affected areas and whatnot. Hopefully the peeling won’t be as bad as when I got burnt last year…. THAT was hellish…

Oh! I promised I’d get you a picture of my tattoo, did I not? Well here you go; take a gander:

G's new tat

I don’t know how many of you remember this, but I have a problem with my left clavicle that dates back almost two years. I searched and realized that I actually didn’t tell you all about it, so I’m gonna give you the whole gist of it.

One day in late March, I woke up as usual, went to school as usual, and did the usual high school senior stuff that we typically did. As the day went on, however, I had noticed a pain on my clavicle that was bothering me like anything. And for the life of me, I couldn’t figure out why it hurt.

So, I went home after school, and told my mom “Something’s up with my collarbone. I don’t know why, but it hurts.”

So Mom turned on her little office light and looked at it. She looked slightly bewildered and palpated it carefully, and then proceeded to say “It’s bent.”

I was shocked beyond words. What the hell? Where did THAT come from? I palpated and found that, yes it was bent, and it was very worthy of a “wtf” moment.

Anyway, we scheduled immediately for me to see Dr. Jay the following day. He took a look at it, and then we got an x-ray, and he took a look at that. To our confusion, nothing showed up. He prescribed I have my arm in a sling for a week and he said that he was going to refer me to an orthopedic.

Unfortunately, he never did (and maybe it was better that way, because I didn’t have health insurance, and that shit’s expensive). The bone’s been bent ever since, and it hurts on and off all the time. I can’t sleep on that side, I can’t rest my head on that arm for a certain period of time, lifting isn’t a good idea, and sometimes it just hurts for no freakin reason.

Last year, I was on the track team, and in the hopes that maybe someone could figure something out, I went to the AT room (athletic training). They said “let’s treat it as a soft tissue problem” and gave me a bag of ice. Let me tell you, the ice was very far from helpful. In fact, it hurt like hell to have the ice on it even without putting any pressure on it at all. So I gave up, and hoped that some day I’d either have the money, or have health insurance, to afford seeing a specialist. At that point, I figured that since no one could figure out what caused it, the only way to fix it would be to break it. And I was perfectly accepting of it, albeit a little pissed since I had gone for so long without breaking anything.

Now I bring you to the present, 2009. Because of financial issues, we’ve got a shot at getting Medicaid. And as soon as I found out, I thought to myself that hey, this would be the perfect opportunity to see an orthopedic about getting this damn clavicle fixed, especially since it bothers me more and more.

Since I didn’t have a yellow pages handy, I went to the next best place to find out info on medical stuff — the health center here at IC. I went in with a clear mission: find out about the orthopedics in the area and get contact info so I can get in touch with them and discuss fixing my problem. It turns out that doing this wasn’t anywhere near as easy as I thought it was going to be. The nice receptionist at the desk told me “We have an orthopedic here… well, he knows sports medicine really well, and he’s a top doctor.”

Ironically, this doctor was the doctor I was trying to be referred to by the AT’s last year (because apparently if I’m on a sports team, I have to get to referred to him if the AT’s see fit… lame asses). I had to see a PA first (physician’s assistant) and was referred to the MD later that day.

Dr. Getzin (that’s his name) took a look at me, and the x-rays I had done earlier that day, and he couldn’t figure out what had happened to cause the problem. In the end, I was referred, again, to see a physical therapist for rehab so that we can “get rid of the discomfort and pain.”

That’s the end of my story, but it’s not the end of my dilemma.

I don’t understand why nobody seems to be listening to me, like they think I’m completely clueless about what’s going on, like I don’t know anything, like I’m not studying to be a doctor who specialized in musculoskeletal injuries and treatments. I’m not interested in finding out the cause of the bend; I’ve accepted the fact that shit happens, like how a friend of mine dislocated her shoulder and tore her labrum in her sleep out of nowhere (she needed surgery for it…). What I’m interested in is getting this bone of mine straight and normal again. No one listens to me when I try to give my opinion, and I don’t understand why, but everyone seems to think this is a soft tissue problem. Hell, Getzin was saying that this could be a chronic overuse injury from playing volley-ball.

Okay, first off, how the hell is it an overuse injury? I only played volleyball once a week. That’s bullshit, and it sure as hell ain’t overuse. It’s not a soft tissue problem, I don’t think, because the only place where there’s pain is where the bend is. If soft tissue was some how involved, I would think the pain would be more spread out. And it’s only the bone that’s tender to palpation, and that hurts whenever I do something like put some kind of compression force on it. The AC (acromioclavicular) and SC (sternoclavicular) joints are perfectly fine, they aren’t strained or out of place. Again, if that was the case, the pain would be there.

What pisses me off about all of this is, like I said, nobody is freakin’ listening to me. Getzin said he wanted to fix this by eliminating the discomfort and pain to make my life better. The x-ray technician was saying that you can’t just reset the clavicle because of all the pressure it’s under, and surgery it just not worth it.

But you see, seeing a physical therapist isn’t going to get rid of the pain. A physical therapist can’t straighten bones. And just how would anyone know whether it would be worth it for me to get surgery except only me. I’m the one that knows what she wants for her body, not the rest of you fuckheads! All I know is, while nobody can figure out what caused it, it’s most likely a bone problem that can’t be fixed with just rehab by a PT. It needs to get broken and reset, and I don’t care. I’ll probably have to get surgery done, but I don’t care. Put a metal plate in me, I DON’T CARE!!! All I want is just to fix this bend, because it’s the bend in the clavicle that is the biggest problem, my ONLY problem. I want to be able to move around all I want without having my clavicle suddenly hurting. I don’t care about the cause of the problem, I WANT A GOD DAMNED SOLUTION!

I’ve no idea if Getzin would even think about referring me to an orthopedic once it’s clear that freakin’ therapy isn’t going to do shit. Whatever. Once it’s confirmed that I have health insurance I don’t care. I gonna find someone who will fix this fucking problem of mine. And once I get out of school and become an orthopedic doctor myself, I’m not going to make any kind of recommendations as to how I think they’re problem is gonna be solved until I get an opinion from them as well, to try and accommodate and figure out what’s truly best. You see, people aren’t stupid; an individual knows their body better than anyone else. What happens when someone has a problem come up that they don’t understand? They look shit up to learn more about what goes on, and then they look for people that will best fix that problem. I knew a bunch of things about injuries just by looking up stuff even before I went to college and learned even more. HOW ELSE DO YOU THINK THAT WE FIND THOSE DOCTORS THAT WE NEED?! WE LOOK IT UP! We’re not fucking stupid! I’m not stupid! I may only be a sophomore undergrad, but I know things! I know myself better than you ever will, so FUCKING LISTEN TO MY FUCKING OPINION WHEN I GIVE IT TO YOU!!!